자막제작
AF [U1]방송국(2009.07)

개인감상용 자막입니다.
웹하드, 유료사이트의 무단배포를 금지합니다.

Rupert Everett(Miss/Carnaby Fritton)

Colin Firth(Geoffrey Thwaites)

Lena Headey(Miss Dickinson)

 

聖 트리니안스 여학교
(St. Trinian's, 2007)

 

여긴 오싹해요, 아빠.
아무도 없나봐요.

 

수업중이겠지

 

들어가자.

 

(불법무기 수거함)

 

수업료가 제일 싼 곳이라더니...

 

안녕하세요.

 

교장 선생님을 뵈러 왔는데요.

 

세무서에서 나온건 아니죠?

 

아니. 교장 선생님의 남동생이오.

 

오우.

 

무례를 용서해주세요.

 

제 뇌를 주말엔 봉인시켜 놨다가
수요일에 풀리거든요.

 

넌 무슨 말인지 알지.ㅋ

 

교장선생님,
동생분이 오셨어요..

 

뭐라고 하는지 잘 안들려

 

동생분이 오셨다구요

 

Carnaby Fritton입니다.

 

아니, 아니,
내말을 잘 들어 보시오...

 

왜 내가 당신같은
3류작가의 그림을 사겠어?

 

여전하구나, 동생?

 

다시 전화할께.

 

안녕, 누님.

 

멍멍아, 그러지마.

 

맘마 먹으러 가자.

 

Carnaby Fritton.

 

넌, 15년간 코빼기도 안보이더니.

 

꽃은 보냈어요.

 

조화...

 

엄마의 장례식용 화환이었지.

 

아, 네가 바로 롤리구나,
lully niece Annabelle.

 

여긴 안전하군.

 

저런!

 

그래...아버지가 보낸 편지에는

 

첼튼엄(Cheltenham) 여학교를
다녔다고...

 

아무리 생각해도, 그런 학교에
왜 널 보냈는지 모르겠단다

 

우수한 교육시설과 리그에서 상위권인
학교에 보낸 내가 못난 아빠다

 

내 경험으론,
그런 학교 선생들은 토나오는 속물이고,

 

그런 학교 여학생은 다 쉣(똥)이였어.

 

걱정하지마, 조카.

 

우리학교는 학생과 교사가
화목하게 지내고 있단다.

 

아빠.

 

아빠, 여기서 지내라는 건 아니죠?

 

여긴 미친 호그와트 라구요.

 

처음엔 낯설겠지만
적응되면 지낼만 할게다

 

여기 수업료 명세서다.

 

위스키 마실래?

 

서류에 착오가 있는거 같은데요.

 

과세가 아닌한,
회계사는 절대 실수하지 않아.

 

가족 할인은 안되나요?

 

가족할인이라니!

 

이미 가족한도 초과야

 

네 잔머리로 Millicent 고모가
파산했잖니!

 

제가 알고 그랬나요.(내 잘못 아님)

 

네 아빠는 양심에 털난 놈이구나

 

수업료는 4천이다.

 

1,500.

 

3,000, 아니면 꺼져.

 

2,000 걸께요, 현금으로.

 

2,500.

 

- 2,250.
- 2,300.

 

2,300, 결정.

 

아빠, 저를 여기에 남겨두지 마세요.

 

어리광 부리지마, darling.

 

시작이 반이랬잖니.

 

- 행운을 빈다!
- 아빳!

 

- 아빳!

 

니네 꼰대 차, 한물 갔던데

 

아니야.

 

명품 클래식카야.

 

아빠는 고상해 보이고 싶은거야.
중심가(May fair)에 미술관도 가지고 있지.

 

나는 Annabelle이라고 해...

 

교장 선생님의 질녀야.

 

몰라봤네요
가방 들어줄 사람을 불러줄께요.

 

미안한데, 네 이름을 알려줘.

 

Kelly Jones.

 

난 학생회장이야.

 

정말이야?

 

St Trinian's에 잘왔어

 

♪ MARK RONSON feat. LILY ALLEN:
Oh, My God

 

♪ I've never been this far away from home

 

♪ And, oh, my God, I can't believe it

 

♪ I've never been this far away from home

 

거기서 똥싸냐...못난아?

 

내 침대가 어디지?

 

네 침대를 훔쳤다고?
내놓으라는거여 시방?

 

나한테 좀 맞고 싶구나!

 

물러나, Taylor.

 

가서 매니큐어나 칠해.

 

화내면 지는거야
She who angers you conquers you.

 

뭐라는겨.

 

볍신(Weirdo).

 

Chavs는 지금 좀 신경과민이야.

 

어이, 날 보고 chav라는 거야?

 

그래서, 그남자한테 말했어...

 

쟤들은 소식통이야

 

모두 왕족과 잤다고 주장하지

 

미국 채권 시장이 폭락했을때
거래를 시작하면...

 

신용 거부야?

 

Geeks와 상담해

 

얘들은 뭐야? 벌써 자는거야?

 

고스족(Goths).

 

우린 고스족이 아니야,
이모스(Emos)야.

 

이모스(Emos)가 뭐니?

 

정서불안
(Emotionally unstable).

 

초딩들.

 

Fulchester 쌍둥이가 두목이야
(The Sopranos 마피아 미드)

 

여기가 네 침대야.

 

뭘 내기하는 거야??

 

네가 얼마나 버티는가에.

 

♪ And oh, my God, I can't believe it

 

♪ I've never been this far away from home

 

♪ And oh, my God, I can't believe it

 

♪ I've never been this far away from home

 

♪ And oh, my God, I can't believe it

 

♪ I've never been this far away from...

 

준비됐어, 얘들아.

 

YouTube에 생중계할께.

 

이제 조회수가 얼마나 올라갈지 보자

 

신참이네.

 

- 아빠?
- 여보세요?

 

- 잠깨워서 미안해요, 아빠
- 무슨 일이니?

 

이 악의 소굴에서
좀 빼내 주세요.

 

나 인터넷에 몰카 떳어요.

 

여학교 신고식 같은데, 별거 아니야.

 

누드라구요, 아빠!
당장 데리러 오세요.

 

옆에 누구에요?

 

아무도 없어,
누워서 "위기의 주부들" 보는거야.

 

아빠, 올거에요, 말거에요?

 

신호가 안잡혀, 치이익!

 

여보세요? 여보세요?

 

치이익!

 

아우!

 

Annabelle Fritton!

 

엄...저...

 

네가 한짓을 믿을 수 없구나

 

죄송해요, 선생님.

 

일부러 그런건 아니에요.

 

그렇게 때리는 사람을 찾고 있었다.

 

당장 널 하키팀에 넣어야겠구나.

 

♪ THE ORDINARY BOYS:
Nine2Five

 

손님 왔어.

 

♪ Oh, my gosh, my days are getting longer

 

♪ And there's no turning back,
I'm working the nine to five

 

♪ Just to keep my contract

 

♪ Did I say nine? I meant 1 :30

 

♪ I ain't no early birdy,
I'm working the nine to five

 

안녕(Bonsoir), 가시내들(nitwits).

 

안녕(Evening). 은색으로 해줘.

 

♪ So you gotta do some idents,
what channel are you?

 

♪ Channel who?
Sorry I'm haltered for a snooze

 

♪ Oh, Channel U,
the ones that made me huge

 

♪ Like Katie Price's boobs

 

♪ Whoops! I'm being rude

 

♪ Where's my Red Bull
and my sandwich? I need food!

 

♪ I can't handle this

 

♪ I'm getting...like Pampers throwing a tantrum

 

♪ Oh, my gosh, my days are getting longer

 

♪ And there's no turning back,
I'm working the nine to five

 

♪ Just to keep my contract

 

♪ Did I say nine? I meant 1 :30

 

♪ I ain't no early birdy,
I'm working the nine to five

 

난 정말...
새 포장 디자인이 맘에 들어.

 

하지만 지난번 공정에서
문제가 있었던것 같아.

 

하자요, 깜빡이(Flash)?

 

그래, 뒷맛이 약간 써서

 

두잔을 마시고 장님이 되고...

 

귀부인이 죽었지...

 

그녀는 늙엇어요.
언제 죽을지 몰랐다구요.

 

38살이였어.

 

그래요?

 

Anoushka. 이리와봐

 

- 건배(Na zdorovye)!
- 아브라모비치(Abramovich 첼시 구단주)

 

너 괜찮겠어?

 

- 괜찮아요
- 그럼 거래하자.

 

탁월한 선택.

 

계속 이런식이면...

 

니네들 고소할거야.

 

지켜볼거야.

 

짜-잔!

 

뭘 이런걸 다 준비한거야

 

꽤 비싸 보이네.

 

크리스마스 선물인가
그런데 이게 뭐야?

 

사탕같은거? 시가인가?

 

야, 나 잘 어울려?

 

- 그건 탐폰(생리대)이에요
- 뭣?! 우웩!

 

- 명품 탐폰.
- 왜? 왜 이런걸 만들었어?

 

여자는 외모만 예뻐지려는게 아니에요.

 

이런 듣보잡 제품은 못팔아.
좀 잘해봐.

 

이야기 좀 할까, Flash?

 

네. 잘하고 있어, 애들아.

 

그럼, 가서 일봐.

 

열심히 하라구.

 

Yes. Um...

 

수학선생들한테 말 좀 전해줄래...

 

뭐가 문제야?

 

너무 짠돌이들이라 경마장에서

 

마권업자를 매수하는
뒷돈도 주지않아.

 

무슨 말인지 알겠지?

 

샌님들
관행대로 하라고 할께.

 

저기, Kell...

 

동네에 중국식당이 새로 생겼어.

 

보기엔 멋지던데.

 

바쁘지 않다면 주중에
한번 가보는게 어떨지...

 

동업자끼리 샴페인 한잔 할수 있잖아
사심이 있다면 지옥불에 떨어질꺼야.

 

- 너한텐 관심없어.
- 그래. 바보같은 생각이야.

 

난 동업자와 데이트 안해

 

나도 일이 우선이야.

 

많이 바쁘지.

 

여기 장물도 빨리 팔아야 하고...

 

♪ And there's no turning back,
I'm working the nine to five

 

♪ Just to keep my contract...

 

- 때깔 좋은데.
- 잘가요, Flash.

 

- 잘있어(Auf Wiedersehen)
- 또와요.

 

적 출현. 남쪽으로 10도,
대공용의점 있음

 

침입자 발견.

 

초딩들, 위치로.

 

안녕하세요, 선생님.

 

- 악!

 

직원들 월급을 줘야해요.

 

그렇지 않으면 파업할겁니다.

 

지금은 곤란해, Bursar.

 

교장선생님,
이 난관을 극복하지 않으면

 

St Trinian's 학교는...

 

지금은 안돼.

 

왠 잡상인이 이야기 하고 싶다는데요.

 

자기가 새로온 영어 선생님이라는데,
아닌것 같아요.

 

똥오줌도 못가릴 사람이에요.

 

- 비벌리(Beverly).
- 미안해요, 교장선생님.

 

똥오줌도 못가리는 사람같아 보이지는 않아요.

 

좀 낫구나.

 

교장선생님,
제 추천서와 자격증입니다.

 

오, 저런, 잘됐네요.

 

운전수로도 쓸 수 있겠군요.

 

당신은 잘해낼거라고
믿어 의심치 않아요.

 

직업소개소에서 6달간 4명이
"실종"됐다고 말해줬어요.

 

근거없는 추측일 뿐이에요.

 

실종자들이 발견되기를 바래요.

 

무어크로포트(Moorcroft)!
셔츠 집어넣거라!

 

- 미안해요, 선생님.
- 꺄~~~악

 

(스페인어 수업)

 

거짓말 아니에요, 경관님...

처음보는 물건이라니까요.

이건 제 가방이 아니에요.

 

잘했어, 아가씨들.
Muybien, chicas.

 

손맛이 어때니?

 

- 화끈해요, 선생님.
- 스트레스 해소수업. 계속 쏴요.

 

아니. 아니, 아니, 아니.
월급은 나올거에요.

 

약속해요.

 

여러분...

 

새로 오신 영어 선생님
디킨슨양을 소개할께요.

 

안녕하세요.

 

잘왔수.

 

새로 만든 칵테일 맛 좀 봐요.
맛있을거라우

 

- 제랄드씨라고 이름 붙였다우.
- 제랄드씨.

 

내 두번째 남편이야.

 

싸구려 빈털털이에
완전히 알콜중독자였지.

 

- 다시 어항물을 마시는 거야?
- 아니. 아니요.

 

숨이 찬것 뿐이에요.

 

마셔보우. 기다리다 죽겠구만.

 

술은 안되는데, 미안해요.

 

술마시면 다른사람으로 변해요.

 

저기 우리도 골든벨에(School Challenge)
출전하면 좋을것 같아요.

 

TV 퀴즈 쇼에요.
(School Challenge 영국의 장학퀴즈)

 

예전 학교에서 반응이 좋았어요.

 

학생들과 선생님 모두에게
아주 유익할거에요.

 

- 안녕하시오, 여러분.
- 안녕하세요, 장관님(Mr Thwaites).

 

편히, 앉아요.

 

오늘날, 모두 잘 아시다시피,

 

우리 나라의 학교 교육은
과잉보호로 망가졌습니다.

 

나약하고, 매없는 정책을
오랫동안 펼친 결과죠.

 

삐뚤어진 아이들은
다정하게 감싸줄 필요가 없어요.

 

그런 애들은 엉덩이를 차줘야 합니다.

 

장관님, 타블로이드지에는
"매를 들어라"라고 발표할까요?

 

할말은 하고 살아야지.
우리는 밀어 붙이면 되요.

 

이 나라에서 가장 최악인 학교부터
시작할 생각입니다.

 

St Trinian's 학교를
말씀하시는건가요, 장관님.

 

- 저 사람 왜 떨어요?
- 5년전 위장침투를 했었죠...

 

그 이후로 재발성 장애와
정신적 충격을 받았어요.

 

사실인가요?
한낱 버릇없는 여학생들에게요?

 

장관님은 몰라요.
안가보셨잖아요.

 

교도소를 뜯어고칠때

 

제일 까다롭고 무법적이고
불안한 시설부터 시작했소.

 

일단 한곳을 점령하면,
다른곳은 간단히 굴복시킬수있소.

 

St Trinian's학교에도
같은 방식으로 접근합시다.

 

외람되지만, 장관님,
정말 조심하셔야 되요.

 

내 명령에 따라,
일제 사격해.

 

(극약처방)

 

- 아빠!
- 안녕, 내딸.

 

아빠, 좀 보세요!

 

피에 굶주린 짐승들이에요.

 

짐승! 내가 죽여버릴거야!

 

행동 치료사가 이야기 했던 것을
기억하렴, 달려~ 가는거야.

 

우린 정신병원(bedlam)에 온거에요.
진짜 지옥의 문.

 

왜 진작에 이곳을 폐교시키지
않았는지 모르겠군요.

 

학생들은 변화할 수 있고
또 그럴 것이기 때문이죠. Bagstock 선생님.

 

여기는 안그럴껄요.
이학교 교장선생님을 만나면 알게 될거에요.

 

우리끼리 말인데,
애들보다 교장선생님이 더 악질이에요.

 

Miss Fritton이라구요.

 

카밀라(Camilla).

 

♪ Love Is A Many Splendoured Thing

 

맞아요. 완전히 미친 개죠.
그녀의 평판을 들어 보셨나요?

 

아, Bagstock 교장선생님.

 

당신의 앳된 웃음 소리는
채찍질처럼 후끈 달아오게 하는군요.

 

교장선생님,
신임 교육부 장관님은 만난적 없겠죠.

 

♪ Love is a many splendoured thing

 

- 제프리(Geoffrey).
- 피튼양(Miss Fritton).

 

- 구면이세요?
- 대학에서요.

 

우리는 전설적인 CC였죠.

 

아, 제프리(Geoffrey).

 

다른 날(Another time)...
*연애시집*

 

다른 곳에서(Another Country)
*동성애 소설*

 

이 기쁨을 어떻게 보답할까?

 

당신의 학교가 범죄의 온상이고
기강이 헤이해졌다고 들었소.

 

저런.

 

..대학 진학률도 엉망이더군.

 

- 그래서, 도우러 왔소.
- 다정도 하셔라.

 

음식 선반이 지저분하고
주방 청소가 필요하답니다.

 

비위생적인 급식시설이군.
리스트에 추가하겠어소.

 

이게 다 애들을 위한 일이란걸
알아줬으면 하오.

 

우연히 반대쪽 식탁에 앉게 되었을 뿐이오.

 

시체해부용 테이블이겠죠,
다 알아, 제프리(Geoffrey).

 

꽉막힌 교육으로 우릴 구속하려 하잖아.

 

태엽식 나이팅게일 새로 만드려는게
당신이 말하는 교육이군요.

 

변했군요, Geoffrey.

 

당신은 그대로군.

 

당신이 맘에 드나봐요.
(Darcy는 콜린퍼스가 맡았던 역할이름)

 

말린후에 솔로 털어내면 지워져요.

 

세상에. 떡대들이다.
쟤는 완전 정신병자야

 

가자, 첼튼엄 여학교(Cheltenham Ladies).
본때를 보여주자고.

 

우리팀 작전은 쟤는 건드리지 않는거야.

 

Who let the dogs out?
Who? Who? Who-who?

 

Who let the dogs out?
Who? Who? Who-who?

 

Who let the dogs out?
Who? Who? Who-who?

 

우리 선수들 어때요?

 

- Hawes(holes:창녀들)!
- 무슨 말이죠?

 

제마 호스(Jemma Hawes), 당당하게 뛰어.
넌 첼튼엄(Cheltenham)팀 선수야.

 

St. Trinian's도
나름 최선을 다해 노력하고 있네요.

 

열심히 뛴다고 이기는 것은 아니죠.
그만한 실력이 있어야겠죠.

 

멍청한 뇬(Snooty cow)

 

뭐라구요?

 

Emily, Snooty cow
멍때리지 말고, 준비운동 해야지.

 

아주 좋아. 훌륭해.

 

얘들아!

 

저게 누구야.

 

식인종 Annabelle이네.

 

너한테 뭐라는거야?

 

사람들을 잡아 먹곤했지

 

뭐시라??

 

치아 교정기 했을때
음식이 지저분하게 껴서 그래.

 

멋진걸.

 

(기도실)

 

그래, 선수들,
페어플레이 해야한다.

 

물지말고, 할퀴지 말고, 차지말고.

 

속이지 말고.

 

박치지 금지, 때리기 금지.

 

다굴 금지, 침뱃지 말고. No um...

 

개조금지.

 

규정 스틱만 사용해.

 

제니(Janey),
너 들으라고 하는 말이야.

 

OK, 준비.

 

Come on, girls, 작살내버려.

 

꽥!

 

Matron 선생이 대신 들어가요.

 

탁월한 선택이에요.

 

경기 규칙은 알고 있겠죠?

 

몰라염.

 

이런.

 

- 굿샷(Good shot)!
- 좋아!

 

으아!

 

(100% 보드카)

 

(사나운 흑개미 조심)

 

- 철조망?
- 이상 무.

 

- 쇠지레(Crowbar)?
- 이상 무.

 

- 바퀴 자물쇠(Wheel clamp).
- 이상 무.

 

- 연장 챙겨, 소녀들.
- 기다려 같이 가.

 

서둘러, 이 느림보야.

 

- 걔랑 한거 아니지?
- 했어!

 

토나오긴 했지만.

 

그래도 꽤 재미있었어.

 

끝나고 "자기 했어?"라고 물었더니

 

"했데"

 

- 정말루 했데?
- 응. 폰섹스였지만!

 

화끈녀에용(Posh Totty).

 

안녕, 대물 청년

 

애들은 가랏

 

지금은 교복입고 있지, 응큼하긴.

 

곧 체육복으로 갈아입을 거긴 하지만...

 

마무리 오랄은 정말 좋았었어.

 

자기처럼 큰건 처음 봤어.

 

선생님들이 말하길
내가 소질이 있어서, 자주 연습한다면,

 

그분야에서 성공할거래.

 

We're onto you, so watch your backs!

 

Feel the fear. We're maniacs!

 

St Trinian's!

 

M-A-N-l-A-C. St Trinian's!

 

조심해.

 

♪ NOISETTES: Don't Give Up

 

♪ If I tried to tell you to do what for?

 

♪ Can't you see life's knocking right at your door

 

♪ I just don't know for sure

 

♪ Don't give up, don't give up

 

♪ Don't give up, don't give up

 

♪ Don't give up, don't give up

 

♪ Don't give up, don't give up!

 

누구 탄산 암모니아수 좀 갖다줄래?

 

폭음탄을 터트려봐요.

 

뛰어, 이년들아! 힘내라구!

 

♪ Can't you see life's knocking right at your door

 

- 반칙아니에요.

 

♪ What if I tried to tell you to do what for

 

♪ Don't give up, don't give up

 

♪ Don't give up, don't give up

 

♪ Don't give up, don't give up

 

♪ Don't give up, don't give up!

 

Girlie, girlie, girlie! Ha-ha!

 

자기껀 너무 커, Charles,

 

너무 크면 싫어하는 여자도 있어.

 

하지만, 난 큰게 좋더랑.

 

찰스(Charles)? 찰스?

 

잘 안들려?

 

무슨 소리야?

 

네 핸폰이야?

 

이근처에서 하키 볼 못봤니? 못봤구낭~

 

으아아아아!

 

St Trinian's에게 패널티 코너

 

뛰어!

 

넌 죽었어.

 

아자!

 

♪ Are teenage dreams so hard to beat?

 

♪ Every time he walks down the street

 

♪ Another boy in my neighbourhood

 

♪ Wish he was mine, he looks so good

 

♪ I want to hold him, want to hold him tight

 

♪ I get teenage kicks right through the night

 

제프리(Geoffrey),
어디갔다 왔어요?

 

금지된 환각식물들을 재배하고 있더군요,
교장 선생님.

 

- 어머 멋지지 않아요?
- 내딸한테 무슨 짓을 한거야?

 

네 말이 맞아.
최선을 다한 팀이 이겼지.

 

우리학교를 건드리면
이렇게 된다는 걸 교훈으로 삼아

 

애들이 좀 드세단다.

 

이대로 물러서지 않을거요, 카밀라(Camilla)

 

앞으론 자주 볼 수 있겠군요.

 

그렇게 해주겠오.

 

♪ I want to hold him, want to hold him tight

 

♪ Get teenage kicks right through the night

 

♪ All right!

 

(대가리 조심)

 

Ah!(빚쟁이닷)

 

베버리(Beverly). 베버리.

 

아야!

 

베버리(Beverly), 여기 신사분께
마실것 좀 가져다 드리지 그래?

 

죄송해요, 거기 계신지 몰랐어요.

 

어젯 밤에 마시다 남은
Smirnoff(보드카) 밖에 없는데..

 

- 홍차(tea), 베버리(Beverly).
- 아니면 홍차(tea)로요.

 

아차, 미안요. 홍차, 홍차, 홍차...

 

한가하게 차나 마시려고
온게 아닙니다, 교장선생님

 

대출금이 오십만 파운드가 넘습니다.

 

멋지지 않나요?
크리스마스 보너스가 나오겠군요.

 

최고 독촉장을 6번이나 무시했기 때문에

 

강제 압류를 할 수 밖에 없습니다.

 

최고 독촉장이 뭐지?
독촉장이 몇번이나 있는거야?

 

어떤게 최고 마지막 독촉장이냐구?

 

이런 상황을 진작 말하지 않았다니
믿을수 없어.

 

사실 몇번이고 설명하려고 했어요.

 

다음에, Bursar.
베버리(Beverly), 홍차는 어디에 있어?

 

적자 미용실을 폐쇄하듯이
우리에게 생명 유지장치를 벗길 수 없어요.

 

이곳은 학문의 전당이에요, 님아.
나에겐 보육할 의무가 있어요

 

당신에게 변명하지 않겠어요,
난 우리 애들을 책임져야해요.

 

우리 애들은 다른 학교에서 받아 주지 않아요.

 

비행청소년들이거나 골칫덩이들이니까요.

 

남자는 파괴만 하지만
여자는 세상을 구하죠. Mr...

 

..은행원 나부랭이.

 

4주 안에 대출금을 상환하세요.

 

그렇지 않으면 이 학교는...

 

파산 선고를 받게 될 겁니다.

 

홍차 왔어요.

 

♪ Uh-oh, we're in trouble

 

♪ Something's come along
and it's burst our bubble...

 

휴스톤(Houston), 문제가 생겼다.
(아폴로 13호의 명대사)

 

♪ Gotta make a dash
for the cash on the double

 

♪ The party was great, yeah

 

♪ We were really thrilled

 

♪ But the bank man came
and we're gonna get killed

 

♪ We got some style but we got no money

 

♪ Now the joke's on us...

 

- 모두 조용히 해줄래!

 

우리학교가 문닫게 생겼어.

 

(야호)

 

우리 인생의 가장 큰 위기에 직면해있는데
너희들은 애처럼 신났구나.

 

이곳이 문닫게 된다면,
우린 다른 학교로 가야해,

 

일반 학교로 말이야.

 

♪ Uh-oh, we're in trouble

 

♪ We're deep in doo-doo
and we don't have a shovel...

 

고마워요, Matron.

 

아이고...

 

학교에 먹구름이 끼어있어요, Beverly.

 

이미 알고 있었어요, 교장선생님.

 

술을 깨려고 매주 월요일마다
지붕에 올라가봤거든요.

 

이럴때 필요한건 뭐??

 

기분 전환을 해야 되요.

 

빨강은 흥분제이고
파랑은 안정제에요.

 

건강은 균형을 이루어야 하니까.
둘다 줘봐요.

 

고마워요.

 

음, 맛있네.

 

- 잘있었니, 우리딸!
- 아빠! 짐을 갖고 나올께요.

 

- 뭐?
- 데려가려고 오신거 아니에요?

 

그래, 나중에 이야기 하자, darling. Milla.

 

어이.

 

완전 새됐구나.

 

러브모텔하자고?
여긴 내 학교라구, Carnaby.

 

저당 잡힌 학교죠, Camilla.
학교를 폐쇄하면,

 

누님은 모든 것을 잃게 되요
더 심각한건 나도 망하고요.

 

좋은 소식은 저한테 돈많은 친구가
있다는 거죠.

 

Oh, Milla, 잘 들어봐요.

 

우리 둘다 이득이 되는 해결법이에요.

 

발빠르게 움직이면
당장 학교를 팔 수 있어요.

 

빚을 갚고 목돈도 만질 수 있어요.

 

니네 꼰대는 우리를 팔아 넘기려고 하는구나

 

아니야. 우리 아빠는 그럴 사람이 아니야.

 

학생들은 어쩌구?

 

우리 애들은 어떻게 되는거니

 

누님은 진짜 교육자도 아니잖아요.
now, Milla. 도와 줄수 있는 사람은 나밖에 없어요.

 

- Annabelle는 어떻게 하니?
- 어쩌다 그런 딸이 생겼는지 몰라요.

 

내 인생의 오점이에요.

 

가끔은 진짜 내딸인지 궁금해요.

 

친아빠 맞니??

 

딸한테 그러지마, Carnaby.

 

Fritton가(家) 사람이야.

 

너보다 훨씬 우리 가문다운 사람이란다.

 

- 이 비열한 놈아.
- 현실을 직시해요, 누님.

 

먼지는 역사 속으로 사라져야죠.

 

세상에 믿을 놈 하나 없다더니.
It's no use relying on the grown-ups.

 

우리식으로 해야 겠다.

 

오늘 수업의 주제는 범죄학이야

 

어때? 맘에 들지?
이제부터 나같은 범죄자가 되는거야.

 

궁핍하게면 훔치게 되어있어

 

이런 절박한 상황에
우리에게 필요한 것은

 

큰 건수를 잡는거야.

 

50만 파운드 밖에 안되, 꼬마숙녀들.

 

좋은 계획 있는 사람 말해봐?

 

누가 해볼래?

 

조용! 너!

 

- 삥뜯는건(extortion) 어때?
- 좋아, 잘했어.

 

그거야.

 

훌륭해. 삥뜯기(Extortion).

 

"돈내놔 아님 죽는다"라는게
구식이라는 사람이 많아.

 

구닥다리긴 하지만 전통이고
계속되는 범죄이지

 

잘했어, 다른 의견 있는 사람??

 

- 실리아(Celia), 말해봐.
- 사기(Confidence trickery).

 

사기(Confidence trickery). 훌륭해!

 

- 신용카드 사기.
- 카드깡.

 

- 납치, Flash.
- 납치!

 

그래, 그거야
애 ... 훔치기!

 

귀부인을 납치해다가...

 

- 훌륭해.
-..귀를 자르고...

 

남편한테 택배로 보내는 거에요.

 

그리고 하나씩 잘라서 보내는 거에요...

 

..잘게 다져서...

 

..남편이 몸값을 낼때까지.

 

그건 웃을 일이 아니라.
너무 잔혹한 방법이야.

 

상담을 받아 보는게 좋겠다.
잘 감시해, 요주의 인물이야.

 

문앞에서 얼쩡거리지 말고 들어와

 

그림 그리시는 줄 몰랐어요, 고모님.

 

아니 선생님.

 

자아성찰의 시간이랄까...

 

옛날에는 화가가 되려고 했었단다.

 

아주 훌륭한데요. 많이 팔렸겠어요.

 

가명을 사용했지.

 

울적한 마음을 해소하는데 도움이 된단다.

 

우리 Fritton집안 여자들은 내유외강이라서.

 

감정을 표출하는 것이 필요하지,
그렇지 않니, dear?

 

때려봐. 어서,
기집애야, 때려!

 

메롱, 메롱.

 

- 때려봐, 이뇬아!
- 못하겠어요!

 

할수있어. 좌절감을 떨쳐내.

 

분노를 모아서
오른쪽 주먹에 담아서 휘둘러봐.

 

그렇지.

 

어디보자.

 

정말 화났던 일이나,
열받게 한 인간을 떠올려봐

 

가문을 배신한 비열한 놈.

 

줏대 없는 놈.

 

양심에 털난 자식.
완전 철면피...

 

에구...

 

승선을 환영한다, 이뇬아.

 

이 늙은 고모를 잡아주렴.

 

- 아뵤!

 

불쌍한 것.
위스키 한잔 살께.

 

자, 아가씨들, 크게 생각해야지.
가슴을 활짝 열어봐.

 

저요, 저요, 저요.

 

내면의 범죄본능을 깨워봐.
그래 너!

 

도둑질(Theft).

 

절도(Theft). 마침내 나왔구나.

 

훌륭해. 절도(Theft).

 

- 잘했어.
- 왕실 은행요?

 

왕실 은행은 너무 크다.

 

- 마트(Woolworths;영국의 마트체인점).
- 너무 쬐깐해. 사탕 가게잖아.

 

이봐, 생각을 해봐.
내가 말하는 건...

 

머리를 굴리지 않으면,
모두 성공 할 수 없어.

 

그래... 당신...Kelly.

 

저걸 훔쳐요!

 

맙소사!

 

스칼렛 요한슨을 납치하자고?

 

멍청하기는, 첼시(Chelsea).

 

저건 세계에서 가장 비싼 미술품 중 하나야.

 

그게 지금 우리 동네에 있다구

 

그림을 훔쳐다가 암시장에 파는거야.

 

처분해 줄수 있지?, Flash,

 

그게, 저...

 

내 능력을 벗어난 물건인데요, Kel.

 

넘버 7.

 

미술품털이.

 

애들아, 현장학습 갈 시간이야.

 

학교 이름에 먹칠하지 않도록
얌전히 다니도록 하세요.

 

(이거슨 초글링 러쉬)

 

어이.

 

빙고.

 

우와.

 

콜린 퍼스가 왜 스칼렛 요한슨을
따먹으려 했는지 알겠어.

 

네가 아무리 화장품으로 떡칠하고,
악세사리로 변신해도 안될꺼야.

 

내 생각에는, 진주귀걸이 보다
링 귀걸이가 나을 것같아.

 

차오-차오(Ciao-ciao;잘가).

 

- 알아봤어?
- 그래.

 

폐쇄회로 감시 카메라가 28개나 있어.

 

12명의 무장경비원이
4교대로 24시간 순찰한데

 

압력 센서, 적외선 레이져,

 

유압으로 작동하는 특수 합금 셔터까지.

 

아이고!

 

- 왜그래?
- 이번 작전은 불가능 할것 같아.

 

- 안되는 거야?
- 톰 크루즈가 했다면 우리도 할 수 있어.

 

그런데 진짜 문제는 건물 안으로
어떻게 들어가느냐야

 

위장침투를 해야겠어.

 

좋은 생각 있어?

 

어떻게, 잘되가?

 

골든 벨을 울리고 싶은 사람이 없다니
유감스러운 일이구나.

 

정말 재미있을텐데.

 

결승전이 바로 이곳에서 열린다는거야.

 

- 뭐라구요?
- 결승전은 여기서 방송 될거야.

 

박물관 대강당에서.

 

위치: 트라팔가 광장.

 

표적: 왕립 미술관.

 

이곳은 이동 본부가 있을 곳이고.

 

- 표적거리는?
- 114미터.

 

좋아, 프리젠테이션을 시작할께.

 

이곳은 세계에서 가장 붐비는 광장중 하나야.

 

넬슨(영국제독)형님이 우릴 지켜보실 거야.

 

벽마다 감시 카메라가 있고,

 

모퉁이 마다 경비원이 서있지.

 

학교버스를 하수구 위에 주차시키고.

 

(으웩)

 

- 역겨워.
- 너잖아?

 

- Ha-ha! Taylor.
- 뭣?

 

- (우헤헤헤)
- 왜 내가 해야돼?

 

편한 것만 할 수 없어, Andrea.

 

- 시키는데로 해.
- 말도 안돼!

 

나랑 저 해골바가지랑? 난 못해.

 

찌그러져 있어, Taylor.

 

- 계속해 폴리.
- 자...

 

하수도를 지나가려면 철제 문을 통과해야돼

 

내일 화학 수업이 있으니까.

 

- 우리가 폭약을 준비할께.
- 좋아.

 

일단 침투하는데 성공하면,
대강당 발코니를 확보해야돼

 

퀴즈 대회를 녹화 하는 동안
쇠줄을 타고 방청객 머리 위로 통과하는거야

 

10미터도 넘을것 같아.

 

사실, 11.3미터야.

 

냄새나는 하수도, 철제문,
경비원을 통화한 후에도...

 

줄에 대롱대롱 매달려야 하잖아,

 

철인 3종 경기에 나가는게 좋겠어.

 

- 수영하고 암벽을 타고...
-..내말이!

 

아니, 넌 이것들을 통과 해야해

 

적외선 레이져닷.

 

압력 센서로 작동하는
유압 철제 셔터다.

 

정말 흥미진진한데, 안그러니?

 

폭약에 조언을 하자면, girls,

 

TNT보다 RDX가 효과적이란다.

 

불량 C-4는 쓰지 말거라.

 

그럴께요, 교장 선생님.

 

그런데 결승전에 못 올라가면,
말짱 도루묵이야.

 

오, 이런 맙소사.

 

그래 너희들...결승전까지 갈 수 있겠어?

 

식은 죽먹기지.

 

TV 스타가 되면
세상을 마음대로 주무를 수 있어.

 

처음은 퀴즈 대회지만
다음은 리얼리티 쇼(Love Island)에 나가는거야.

 

그러면 축구 선수와 결혼도 하고
바하마의 섬도 살 수 있어.

 

뜨지 못하면, 불가능하지, 이제

 

눈 딱감고...
다시 태어나는거야.

 

어이, 꺼져.

 

- 누규?...
- JJ French.

 

전임 학생회장이야, 지금은 홍보담당이지.

 

사람들은 신데렐라를 원해.

 

연예인처럼 예뻐지고
날씬해지길 바라지.

 

스타의 아픈 과거나
굴욕사진을 보고 싶어하지.

 

계속 주목을 끄는 것, 그게 관건이야.

 

천재적이야.

 

그런데 왜 누구나 유명해지지 않지?

 

나같은 멘토가 없기 때문이지

 

수단과 방법을 가리지마.

 

엘리자베스 헐리의 패션과 행적을 봐

 

화려한 연기 경력, 그녀만의 패션 스타일

 

연예잡지(Hello! magazine)에
15페이지짜리 성대한 결혼식

 

그게 진짜 천재야.

 

Paris에서 배운 팁을 알려줄께.

 

- 힐튼?
- 프랑스 파리.

 

입생로랑(YSL) 안경을 쓰면,
완전 모범생으로 보이지.

 

퀴즈쇼에 오신걸 환영합니다.

 

번뜩이는 통찰력과 알렉산더 대왕의
지혜를 배워봅시다.

 

올해는 퀴즈 챔피언이 되기 위한
학생들의 경쟁이 아주 치열합니다.

 

Ample forth College에서 온 레드팀

 

St T rinian's에서 온
Peaches, Chelsea and Chloe. 블루팀

 

정부의 조세 정책의 결과로
임금 소득에 따른 과세 비율이 커짐으로서

 

물가가 상승하여(inflation)
경제 성장을 억제하는 현상은 무엇입니까?

 

첼시(Chelsea), St T rinian's.

 

재정 견제(Fiscal drag).

 

재정 견제 정답입니다.

 

- 5점을 땄습니다.

 

- 어떤 로마의 시인...

 

피치(Peaches), St Trinian's.

 

오비디우스(Ovid).

 

오비디우스라고 정답지에 적혀있네요.

 

- 작가는 누구...

 

찰스 디킨스(Charles Dickens).

 

..정답인데.
블루팀(Ampleforth)에겐 재앙이네요,

 

최상의 컨디션(?)을 가진
레드팀과 상대하고 있군요.

 

서둘러.

 

- 차이코프스키의 서곡...

 

1812년.

 

정답입니다.

 

- 마감 종이 울렸습니다,

 

점수는 120대 85입니다.

 

Ampleforth College팀은 안됐지만,

 

집에 가서 빈대떡이나 부쳐드세요.

 

바보! 멍청이!

 

말미잘!

 

그러면...

 

Bedales학교는 어떻게 이길거야?

 

마법.

 

환각 버섯을 쓰는거야.

 

- 안냥.
- 안녕.

 

카모마일 차 마셔볼래?

 

- 응.
- 감사.

 

어떤 세익스피어의 연극에서
다음 대사가 나올까요.

 

"곰에게 쫓기면서 퇴장"?

 

Yes. Chas. Bedales.

 

- 곰돌이 푸(Winnie the Pooh) 아닌가요?

 

Caspar...

 

- 부져를 누른건가요, Caspar?
- 헤헤, 그럼요.

 

답을 말해보세요.

 

부져를 눌렸으면... 뭐하려구 그래요?

 

무슨짓이에요? Chas! 더듬지 마요.

 

건들지 마요. 경비원!

 

물론, 계약서에 사인만 하면되
공중파 스케쥴 잡아줘

 

- 사과.
- 사과가 정답입니다.

 

St Trinian's의 학문의 요정들입니다.

 

힘내요 Eton.
분발해야겠어요.

 

아니요, 포기할래요.

 

끝났네요!

 

점수가 35:10,
Eton이 탈락해서 맘이 아프네요...

 

매혹적이고 눈부신 여신들의
승리를 축하합니다.

 

이로써, 다음주,

 

Cheltenham Ladies' College과
결승전에서 맞붙을 학교는

 

바로 St Trinian's입니다.

 

St Trinian's를 폐쇄한다고요?

 

그래 우리가 살려면 어쩔 수 없어.

 

모두 아다시피, 현재 상황으로
그학교는 실패한 청소년 교육의 상징입니다.

 

베이컨의 나약한 교육법은
뜯어 고쳐야 합니다.

 

그 학교의 기를 꺾어 놓아서,
좋은 본보기로 만들겠습니다.

 

고분고분하게 될겁니다.

 

우리가 어떻게 대처하는지
행동으로 보여야 할때입니다.(처칠의 연설문)

 

문제점을 제기하고 고치세요.

 

기자들을 불러 모아요, 피터.

 

개들 풀어요, 사냥시즌입니다.

 

어디보자(Hang on).

 

내가 필요하단 말이지.
나같은 대물이...

 

...한낱...런던에 있는
쬐그만 미술관에 들어가는데...

 

...꼰대들이 왈츠나 추는...

 

베르메르의 그림을 암시장에 팔라고??

 

훔치라는게 아니라,
이 사람으로 위장해주세요.

 

Gerhard Von Strubel은,
세계에서 가장 만나기 힘든 미술상이에요.

 

기왕 위장을 한다면...

 

예술가는 어때?

 

아빠와 만난 적은 없지만,

 

그 사람과 거래하기 위해
무슨짓이든 할거라구요.

 

미안하다만,
내 취향이 아니야.

 

문제가 있어?

 

안해줄꺼야, flash?

 

저 놈은 그럴 배짱이 없다고 했잖아,
Annabelle.

 

잠깐, 잠깐만.
안하겠다는 말은 안했어.

 

나도 끼워주면.
힘닫는데까지 해볼께.

 

von Strubel mug는 뭐하는 놈이야?

 

- 그는 백작이야.
- 나랑 동급이군!

 

아니, 귀족이니까
나도 우아한 척 할 수 있어, 잘봐.

 

Oh, la-di-dah! 사냥하러 가볼까?

 

그런데 독일어는 할줄 알아요?

 

물론 할수 있지
Ah, mon freuer...

 

Strindberg, Wiederkind,
Jurgen Klinsmann...

 

밤에는 잘 먹히는데.
연습할 시간을 좀 줘.

 

어떻게 생겨먹은 작자야?

 

들리는 소문엔, 명망있는데 다가

 

학식도 깊고 잘생겼데.

 

잊어버릴뻔 했는데,
완전 게이래.

 

(켁)

 

(휘이익)

 

비상! 대머리독수리,
1시 방향!

 

스컹크 조심

 

첫페이지를 장식할 준비가 되셨나요, 장관님?

 

Peter, 무자비하고 악랄한
신문기사를 국민들이 읽기 바라네

 

그러면 우리한텐 잘된일이지.

 

기자 여러분
방문해 주셔서 감사합니다.

 

15년간 교육행정의 무관심으로 빚어진 수치스러운 결과를 목격하게 되실겁니다.

 

이런 학교는 잡초처럼 제거해야합니다.

 

오랜 무관심으로 학생들은
난폭하고 제멋대로가 되었습니다.

 

- 장관님은 제초병인가요?
- 그단어 맘에 드네요, 드니스.

 

비상사태!

 

공습경보!

 

제 방법을 혹평하곤 합니다.

 

"너무 공격적이다."
"강경하다"나 뭐래나

 

여러분께 보여지고 싶은 것은...

 

...병적인 중도주의자입니다.

 

제가 보기엔 오히려 즐기는것 같은데요..

 

내가 출입문만 날려버리랬잖아

 

장관님! 장관님?

 

떴어!!!

 

안녕하시오.

 

세무감사 오신건가요?

 

아니요.

 

휴, 살았다!

 

어서 서둘러.

 

준비되셨죠?

 

..6시가 되자,
어둠이 몰려왔다...

 

무슨 일로 오셨나요?

 

성인의 말씀을...
기다리는 이들이 있었으니...

 

조만간 실수하는걸 잡을거야.

 

(달그닥)

 

Christ! 이쪽으로 오고 있어!

 

다 들키겠어!

 

넌 누구니?

 

따님을 알고 있어요.

 

Verity의 친구로구나?

 

Cheltenham에 같이 다녔어요.

 

Verity는 불량학생이였고
저를 괴롭혔어요.

 

정말이니?

 

그런데, 장관님,
따님이 바로 불량학생이군요.

 

이 학교에서 지내는건 어떠니?

 

아, 우리학교는...

 

약간 문제있는 가족이지만
모두 하나에요, 행복하고...

 

여왕을 욕보이는 역적같으니라구

 

위대한 영국이 어릿광대에게 속았도다.

 

Geoffrey. 어므나 놀래라!

 

무슨 꿍꿍이요, 교장선생님?

 

학생들은 열심히 공부하고,

 

여교장선생은
일생일대의 연극을 연습하는 중이죠.

 

여왕 역할이 어울리지 않나요?

 

뭔가 꾸미고 있는것을,
철저하게 조사하겠소

 

당신을 까발리고 말겠소.

 

내옷을 벗기려면
최소한 저녁부터 사야할 걸요.

 

Oh, Geoffrey.

 

Oh, 다시는 안돼.

 

(하앍하앍)

 

깨ㅡ갱!

 

의도했던 기사가 전혀 아닌데요, 장관님!

 

애완견을 죽인 장관

 

(꺄ㅡ악!)

 

(으르렁~)

 

전학을 왔으면
신고식을 해야지, Fritton.

 

날 어쩌려는 거얌?ㅠ.ㅠ

 

꽃단장해줄께, 밥팅아ㅋ

 

♪ SUGABABES:
3 Spoons Of Suga

 

♪ She likes to dress
like she's fresh out of a magazine

 

♪ She struts around
getting down to her record machine

 

♪ It's clear that she enjoys teasing all the boys

 

♪ They always say
that you'll remember her name

 

♪ Because she's got it

 

♪ She's got it right down

 

♪ And all the guys say

 

♪ I need three spoons of sugar
in a glass full of liquor

 

♪ To get over you

 

♪ I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy
to cure the sugar rush

 

♪ I can't get over you

 

♪ Gimme something in my coffee

 

♪ Gimme thrills, take my money

 

♪ Can't get over you

 

이제 맘에 들어?

 

St Trinian 학생 같군.

 

♪ I need three spoons of sugar
in a glass full of liquor

 

♪ To get over you

 

♪ Gimme something in my coffee

 

♪ Gimme thrills, take my money

 

♪ Can't get over you

 

♪ I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy
to cure the sugar rush

 

♪ I can't get over you

 

Ah, Lavinia.

 

배트맨(caped crusader)에게 반했나?

 

(흐흐흐)

 

앜! 당신같은 얼굴은 첨인걸

 

이곳에서 썩기엔 아까운 얼굴이야.

 

내가 이야기하려던 바로 그 얼굴이야.

 

이건 분명히 운명일거야.

 

당신은?

 

독일인.

 

독일의 어디에서?

 

바이에른 뮌헨.

 

그건 축구팀이잖소.

 

예...
내가 그팀 서포터즈 회장이에요.

 

가지마요.
귀찮게 하려는게 아니요.

 

아주 외로운 독일 사람이라오...

 

미술계의 거물이고...

 

- 혹시...
- 게이이고...

 

- 설마 당신...
- 웁스!

 

어머나 나의 실수(Whoopsie-daisy)!
Gerhard, Gerhard, Gerhard!

 

세상에.

 

게르하르트 백작님?...

 

쉿, please!

 

소란 피우고 싶지않소.

 

엄청난 그림이 암시장에서 떴소.

 

어떤 명화를 말씀하지는지?

 

이게 너무 큰 껀수라.

 

당신 같은 잔챙이한테 알려줘 봤자...뭐

 

저녁을 드시면서 이야기해보시죠.

 

뭐요?

 

적적하다고 하셨으니.

 

함께 오븟한 시간을 보내고 싶네요.

 

근사한 저녁을 먹고,

 

해변을 거닐면서...

 

..우리 둘만의...

 

..파도에 발도 적시며.

 

그리고...

 

..제 숙소로 갑시다.

 

아니, 지금 그냥 말해 줄께요.

 

- 힝, 그래요.
- 그게 더 좋겠어요.

 

그림은 바로...

 

진주 귀걸이를 한 소녀요.

 

정말요?

 

(Mr Darcy의 장례식)

엄청난 댓가를 치뤘습니다...

 

우리 학생들과 학교를 위해서
...몸바쳐 희생한...

이보다...더...
사랑스러운 강아지는 없었어요.

 

지못미ㅠ_ㅠ

 

Mr Darcy를 위해서!!!

 

♪ GIRLS ALOUD:
On My Way To Satisfaction

 

♪ Hey, yeah, yeah

 

♪ Don't you know I saved a spot for you?

 

♪ And l-l-l

 

♪ I wanna introduce you to my crew

 

♪ So what do you say?

 

♪ Am I gonna get my way?

 

♪ I don't need your permission

 

♪ You're uptight and it don't look right

 

♪ You've gotta share my vision

 

♪ On my way

 

♪ To satisfaction

 

♪ How I love

 

♪ Your reaction

 

♪ On my way

 

♪ To satisfaction

 

♪ How I love

 

♪ Yeah

 

♪ Your reaction

 

장관님?

 

공개적으로 비난했던 학교가
최종 결승전에 올라왔습니다.

 

교육부가 좀 곤란해진것 아닌가요?
한말씀 해주시죠.

 

아니요, 드니스,
안되겠어요.

 

딸아이 학교를 응원하기 위해서
개인 자격으로 이곳에 왔습니다.

 

사진 그만 찍어요. XXX

 

하나만 대답해주세요.

 

들어가게 비켜줄래...

 

미안요, 여기 들어가면 안되요.

 

뭐라구? 나는 직원인데...

 

우리팀은 특별한 준비의식을
치르고 있어요.

 

아우!

 

영상 접속완료.

 

Tania, 뭐하는거야?

 

넌 열살이야.

 

게다가 폭발물 담당이잖아.

 

담배 피려는게 아니야, Kell.

 

악취 방지용이야.

 

CSI에서 보고 배웠어.

 

아하~

 

행운을 빈다, 초딩들아.

 

- Annabelle?
- 잠시만 기다려.

 

안녕하세요. 여기는 정부기관보다
박물관이 많은 런던입니다.

 

박물관에서 최종 결승전을
치르게되어 영광입니다.

 

좋아, 지금이야.

 

(헙)

 

애들아? 꼬맹이들, 들리니?

 

사고난거 아니야?

 

응답하라, 응답하라.
말 좀 해봐.

 

- (으으으)
- 아, 보인다.

 

몰카지롱~
(이러니 초딩이지ㅡㅡ^)

 

좋아, 소녀들,
한바탕 놀아볼까.

 

나랑 온게 영광인줄 알어 이것듀라

 

잡담할 시간없어. 집중해.

 

남장을 하고 화형을 당한
사람은 누구일까요?

 

- Peaches. St Trinian's.

 

쟌 다르크(Joan of Arc).

 

조 나파르크(Joe Nafark).

 

쟌 다르크, 정답입니다.
St Trinian's이 5점을 땄습니다.

 

시간은 넉넉해요,
Cheltenham학교 팀.

 

좋아 아무도 없어.

 

(덜컹)

 

무슨일이야?

 

보고해.

 

(엉엉엉)

 

여기서 뭐하니?

 

화장실 가려다 갇혔어요.

 

미이라가 쫓아왔었는데
아무도 없는거에요.

 

무서웠다구염.

 

이제 안전하단다. 울지마.

 

어부바~

 

불법 구금으로 부터
수감자가 구제를 요구하는

 

법적인 조치 혹은 영장을 의미하는
라틴 구절은 어떤 것입니까?

 

Yes! Chelsea, St Trinian's.

 

그게...엄...

 

제 생각에 정답은 아마...

 

엄...

 

인신보호 영장
(Habeas corpus)

 

인신호보 영장 정답입니다.
Cheltenham에게 집중포화가 떨어지네요.

 

1813년에 출판된 유명한 영국 소설로,

 

그당시 제목은 첫인상이었지만,

 

다른 제목으로 더 널리 알려져있습니다.
책의 제목은 무엇일까요?

 

- Chelsea. St T rinian's.

 

- 오만과...

 

아야!

 

제모왁스(Brazilian wax)보다
고통스러워.

 

Brazilian wax?가 정답인가요?
오만과 제모왁스(Brazilian Wax)?

 

아뇨! 그게 아니라...

 

엄호가 필요해.

 

메두사(Medusa).

 

메두사 정답입니다. 잘했어요.

 

조낸 잘한다!

 

왜 상대팀을 죽어라
응원하는지 모르겠군요.

 

St Trinian's가 문제를
맞춘 것도 아니잖아요.

 

- 네 차례야.
- 못하겠어.

 

저리 비켜, Morticia.

 

난 고소공포증이야.

 

그래. 해보는거야.

 

안돼. 한번에 한명씩이야.

 

돌아가.

 

그냥가자. 빨리.

 

이제 수학분야입니다.
수학문제를 풀어볼까요?

 

구의 부피를 내는 공식은?
(스피어스의 음량은?)

 

Yes, Peaches.
기회를 잡았군요.

 

아주 크게요

 

헛다리 짚었군요.

 

문제인 부피의 의미와
완전히 다르네요

 

다른 답은? Jemima, yes?

 

- πr²
- 파이 곱하기 반지름제곱입니다.

 

- 정답입니다.
- 좀하는데

 

난 수학의 천재라고나 할까...

 

문학문제를 풀어봅시다.

 

에밀 졸라의 목로주점에서 나왔던
어린 주인공의 이름은 무엇일까요?

 

Yes. Chelsea, St Trinian's.

 

카일리(Kylie)

 

틀렸어요.
카일리 미노그는 가수죠.

 

Yes, please, Antonia.

 

정답은 나나입니다.

 

나나, 정답입니다.

 

St Trinian's가 45점에
묶여있는 동안

 

Cheltenham는 120점 입니다.

 

이 점수를 놓고
잠시 쉬었다 가겠습니다.

 

우유와 빵도 먹고,
운동장에서 사방치기도 하세요.

 

2부에서 만나요.

 

쪽팔려 죽겠어.

 

Chelsea! 도망가면 안돼!

 

자기, 괜찮아?

 

애들한테 진부한 농담이나 하는
내자신이 한심해

 

이렇게 살아야하나?

 

우울증이 원인이야.

 

여기, 당신을 위해 준비한게 있어.

 

빨간 알약은 흥분제고,
파란 알약은 진정제야.

 

힘내삼.

 

아우씨...

 

Chelsea, 기다려.

 

망쳤어.
절대로 다신 안나갈꺼야.

 

- 뭐가 문제야, Chelsea?
- 무선 이어폰이 고장났어.

 

도청기?

 

그것 없이 어떻게 정답을 맞췄겠어
으앙!

 

지금 기권하면
모든게 수포로 돌아갈거야.

 

6주 동안 해봤지만
결국 헛수고잖아.

 

Big Brother쇼도 없고
Project Catwalk쇼도 날아갔어.

 

Celebrity Love Island쇼도 못가다니.
(모두 리얼리티 쇼)

 

부정행위를 했다니.

 

(흑흑)

 

거기 꼼짝마, Chelsea Parker.

 

널 지켜보고 있었어, 얼짱 소녀...

 

순진한척 속이고
건방진 것도 모자라.

 

그리고 이젠, 컨닝까지 하다니

 

무슨 짓을 저질렀는지 알겠지?

 

(으응)

 

살살 때려주세요.

 

- 영리하군.
- 엥?

 

기대했던것 보다 솜씨가 좋은걸.

 

제가요?

 

눈치가 빠른게 짱이야.

 

- 그래요?
- 그렇지.

 

넌 아주 아주 섹시해.

 

정말요?

 

30초 후에 방송 시작합니다, 알았죠?

 

- 진행자 어디갔어?
- 여기, 여기, 여기.

 

어디갔는지 알고 있어,
내가 바로 진행자거든.

 

(으헤헤헤)

 

Oh, 귀여운 아가씨들.
돌아왔군요, 환영해욤.

 

대단한 저녁 아닌가요?
예쁜 소년들이 가득하고...

 

진수성찬이군요.

 

이곳에 우주 최고의
바보들만 모아놨네요.

 

가자 달리는거야.

 

어려운건 넘어가고

 

시-시-시-시작

 

신사 숙녀 여러분,
첫번째 문제입니다.

 

얼간이들이 과일 문제를 풀겠습니다.
(fruit=얼간이)

 

브라질이 원산지이며
학명이 ananas comosus인 과일은?

 

파파야(Pawpaw),
답은 파파야라구.

 

St Trinian's, Chelsea.

 

파파야. 파파야!

 

파파파파야!

 

파인애플인가요?

 

아니얏!

 

정답은 파인애플

 

- St Trinian's가 5점 획득.
- 맞췄네.

 

맞추면 된거지 뭐.

 

聖 트리니안님을 몰랐었지만
그분은 이곳에서 기적을 행하십니다.

 

축하합니다.
다시 컨디션을 회복했군요.

 

그러면 다시 문제를 풀어볼까요.

 

- 오델로(Othello)?
- 오델로 맞습니다.

 

큰일 났어요

 

장관님이 눈치챘어요.

 

흐미 지긋지긋한거!

 

부르키나파소(Burkina Faso)의 수도는?

 

- Yes? - Chloe.

 

와가두구(Ouagadougou)

 

와가두구 정답입니다.

 

어려웠는데, Chloe. 축하해요.

 

남자친구가 거기 출신이야.

 

St Trinian's이 또 5점을 추격해서
흥미진진해지는 군요

 

Geoffrey!

 

교도소를 개혁할때
1급 죄수들과 싸웠었지

 

그런데 당신네 학생들은
정말 별종이야.

 

우리 학생들은 특별하지

 

내가 말했었잖아?

 

나한테 그러지 말고,
판사한테 사정해봐.

 

아, 당신 예전에는
뜨거운 남자였는데,

 

20분 정도 시간있어.

 

옛날처럼 뜨겁게 한잔 할까?

 

꿈도 꾸지마.

 

Geoffrey, 왜 이렇게 꽁한거야?

 

당신과 나...

 

어디서 잘못된거지?

 

내가 너무 변덕스럽고...
너무 비이성적이였어?

 

감당하기 힘들만큼?

 

한잔 마시는게 좋겠군.

 

이쪽이야!

 

같이가.

 

흔들시간이야.

 

♪ A new dawn waits for us tonight

 

♪ If you play the cards...
- 잘보구, 집중해!

 

♪ I swear I'll keep in party line

 

♪ Cross my heart and hope to die

 

♪ If I lose myself to rhythm

 

♪ Doesn't mean I lose control

 

♪ If I can't dance then I don't want

 

♪ Any part of your revolution

 

♪ Revolution

 

♪ Revolution

 

나를 몹시 곤란하게 하는군, Milla.

 

그런데 한편으로,
국가에서 위임받은 의무야...

 

당신을 끝장내겠지만...

 

다른 한손에는
초침이 째깍째깍(취했음)

 

당신은 너무...

 

- 너무...
- 이지적이라고?

 

향기롭다구?

 

- 위험하다구?
- 야릇해.

 

내말은, 항상 이상했다구.

 

어려운건 다 통과했어
Cat's in the bag and the bag's in the river.

 

제군들, 우린 해냈어!

 

미안하오, Camilla,
아시다시피, 나는 꼿꼿한...

 

나는 단단한...

 

뭐더라?..길쭉한.

 

강경론자에요,
단단하고 길다는 의미죠.

 

라이너스라는 개가 있었어요.

 

라이너스!

 

이리와, 녀석아.

 

Linus! Here, boy!

 

Linus!

 

정말 좋은 개였는데

 

그 개를 사랑했어

 

Camilla.

 

내가 하려는 말은...

 

..당신은 그런 사람이요...

 

라이너스를 생각하게 하는 사람.

 

(끄응)

 

(철퍼덕)

 

멍멍

 

(흥얼흥얼)

 

(음냐음냐)

 

3분 남았어.

 

신속하게 철수해.

 

(헙)

 

왜 온거야?

 

혼자있기 무섭단말야.

 

..그리스 신화에서, 헤라클래스의...

 

- 허둥대지마.
- 침착하라구?

 

할수있어 - 거의 다왔어.

 

(헙)

 

마지막 문제입니다.

 

양팀 점수는 몇-대-몇!
140 대 140!

 

- Kelly, 지시대로해.
- 뭘 어쩌라구?

 

지금은 물러서. 기다려.

 

안그러면 우린 끝장이야.

 

마지막 문제를 남겨두고
사상 최초의 동점입니다.

모든 열정과 고뇌,
꿈, 희망, 야망,

 

예습과 복습,

 

모든 것이 이순간으로
결판나겠군요.

 

(뿌웅)

 

(킥킥)

 

미안해요.라이신과 라이비타
다이어트의 부작용이에요.

 

생리현상은 어쩔 수 없죠.

 

신사 숙녀 여러분,

 

승리를 위한 마지막 문제
역사적 순간.

 

준비하세요.
이 물질은 강력한 최음 성분이 있고

 

고대 아즈텍의 마녀들이
사용했다고 전해지고 있습니다.

 

장관 딸한테 들켰어.

 

우리 작전을 다 불어 버릴꺼야
막아야만 해.

 

- 나한테 맡겨줘.
- 하지만, Annabelle...

 

- Annabelle.
- 내가 한다니까.

 

Annabelle, 응답하라!

 

(헙)

 

Chelsea, St Trinian's.

 

Thwaites.

 

- 어딜 바쁘게 가는 거지?
- 넌 망했어, Fritton.

 

너와 천박하고 하찮은 학교.

 

시간이 없어요, Chelsea.
부져를 눌렀으면 빨리 대답하세요.

 

초콜렛인가요?

 

내가 더 빠르다는건 알고 있지?

 

Annabelle?
Annabelle, 응답해.

 

Annabelle.

 

꽥!

 

초콜렛이라고 했나요?

 

아...

 

네, 그래요.

 

기도나 해야겠어.

 

정답입니다!

 

아자!

 

올해의 우승자는 St Trinian's 학교입니다.

 

약먹어서 행복해요

 

됐어! 이겼어!

 

응, 여보!

 

이예!

 

Camilla, 엄...

 

지난밤, 무슨 일있었어?
아무것도 기억나지 않아

 

(쿠쿠) 미안해요, Geoffrey.

 

미안해요, 술에다 최음제를 탔어요.

 

그리곤...

 

너무 좋았어요...

 

세상에 정말 한건 아니지?

 

꼭 그런건 아니지만.

 

- 저기, Camilla, 나는...
- Oh, 닥쳐, Geoffrey.

 

키스나 해줘요.

 

♪ THE FOUR ACES:
Love Is A Many Splendoured Thing

 

♪ Love is a many splendoured thing

 

♪ It's the April rose
that only grows in the early spring

 

이건 뭥미...?

 

(헉)

 

왜 이렇게 오래걸렸어?

 

방금 들어온 속보입니다.

 

괴상한 사건이 발생했습니다.

 

어젯밤 왕립 미술관에서
도난당한 귀중한 그림을

 

되찾았습니다.

 

요하네스 베르메르작
진주 귀걸이를 한 소녀는

 

Harvey Nichols 백화점 탈의실에서
여학생들에게 발견되었습니다.

 

St Trinian's 학교에 나가있는
드니스 스티븐스 기자를 연결하겠습니다.

 

왕립 미술관장은 학생들에게
상장과 보상금을 수여한다고 합니다.

 

St Trinian's 학생들에게
감사장을 전달하게 되어 아주 기쁩니다.

 

어린 학생들에게 훌륭한 귀감이 될것입니다.

 

저기 나오고 있습니다.

 

훌륭한 시민상을 받으신 소감이 어떻습니까?

 

교육부 장관의 반응은 아직 없습니다만...

 

- 저기 장관님이다!
- 위에 있어.

 

장관님 한말씀 해주시죠

 

 

오늘밤은 고백하겠소, Camilla.

 

그래요, 자긴 멋져

 

앙, 자기야!

 

- 한번더 해줘.
♪ Whoa-whoa-whoa

 

이런걸 좋아하는, 말괄량이 같으니.

 

Fame Academy에 나가봐요.
(BBC의 스타도전 프로그램)

 

거긴 안되, 자기양.

 

- 한번 더.
- 천천히, Camilla.

 

제발, 천천히해.
남자라면 한번 더!

 

한번 더, 한번 더, 계속해, 시작해!

 

이렇게 보는 당신은 정말 사랑스러워

 

힘내요, 자기야, 코러스 망치지 말아요.

 

- 간다잉, 하나, 둘...
- 하나, 둘...

 

하나, 둘, 셋, 넷!

 

자막제작
AF [U1]방송국(2009.07)

 

This is creepy, Daddy. Where is everybody?

 

I'm sure they're all hard at work, darling.

 

Come on.

 

This is so unbelievably low rent.

 

Good afternoon.

 

(Tinny techno music)

 

(Music stops, girl gasps)

 

We're here to see Miss Fritton.

 

You're not from t'Inland Revenue?

 

No. I'm er...Camilla's younger brother.

 

Ooh.

 

You'll have to forgive me.

 

My brain doesn't kick in till Wednesday
when I've been caning it all weekend.

 

You know what I mean.

 

Miss Fritton, your brother's here to see you.

 

WOMAN: I can't understand
a word you're saying.

 

I said, your brother's here to see you.

 

(Phone rings)
MAN: Carnaby Fritton.

 

CARNABY:
No, no, listen to me very carefully.

 

Why would I buy a picture

 

from someone of your dubious reputation?

 

(Woman laughs)

 

That's what you do, isn't it, Carnaby?

 

I'll get back to you.

 

Hello, Camilla.

 

(Snarls)

 

Mr Darcy, stop that at once.

 

Go to your happy place.

 

Carnaby Fritton.

 

Oh, I haven't heard a word from you
in over 1 5 years.

 

I sent flowers.

 

A wreath...

 

for Mummy's funeral.

 

Oh, you must be my lully,
lully niece Annabelle.

 

You're all clear.

 

(Sound of breaking wind)

 

(Chuckles)

 

Oh.

 

So...your father's PA

 

tells me you're joining us from
Cheltenham Ladies' College.

 

For the life of me, I can't understand
why he sent you there.

 

Yes, I was an utter fool to be taken in
by the excellent teaching standards

 

and their consistently high performance
in league tables.

 

In my experience,
the teachers are insufferable snobs,

 

and the girls are all shits.

 

Not to worry, my dear.

 

Here, pupil and teacher live in blissful harmony.

 

(Screaming)

 

Daddy.

 

Daddy, you can't expect me to stay here.

 

It's like Hogwarts for pikeys.

 

It's a little rough around the edges, darling.

 

- But that's part of the fun of the place.
(Door opens)

 

(Humming to herself)

 

Here is a breakdown of the school fees.

 

(Sighs)

 

Whisky?

 

There seems to be some kind of mistake.

 

The Bursar never makes mistakes about money,
unless it's for tax purposes.

 

But what about...a family discount?

 

Family discount!

 

You discounted the family years ago,
Carnaby Fritton,

 

when you ruined Great Aunt Millicent
with your hair-brained schemes.

 

I've done nothing to feel guilty about.

 

(Exasperated cry)

 

Your father has a short memory
masquerading as a clear conscience.

 

The fees are 4,000.

 

1,500.

 

3,000, take it or leave it.

 

Let's call it 2,000, cash.

 

2,500.

 

- Two and a quarter.
- Two-three.

 

Two-three, done.

 

Daddy, you can't leave me here.

 

Don't be silly, darling.

 

It'll be half term before you know it.

 

- Bonne chance!
- Daddy!

 

- Daddy!
(Car horn toots)

 

(Crows caw)

 

(Bell rings)

 

(Deep rumbling)

 

(Sings happily)

 

(Girl squeals)

 

(Shouting and rumbling)

 

(Bell tinkling)

 

Your old man's Roller
looks like it's seen better days.

 

No.

 

It's a classic.

 

Daddy's an expert on the finer things.
He has an art gallery in May fair.

 

I'm Annabelle...

 

Miss Fritton's niece.

 

I'll have someone come fetch your bags.

 

I'm sorry, I didn't get your name.

 

Kelly Jones.

 

I'm head girl.

 

(Scoffs)

 

Really?

 

Welcome to St Trinian's.

 

♪ MARK RONSON feat. LILY ALLEN:
Oh, My God

 

♪ I've never been this far away from home

 

♪ And, oh, my God, I can't believe it

 

♪ I've never been this far away from home

 

What are you bogging at...Ugly Betty?

 

Know where my bed is?

 

You saying I nicked your bed?
Is that what you're saying?

 

I'll give you a slap.

 

Back off, Taylor.

 

Go paint your nails.

 

She who angers you conquers you.

 

Whatever.

 

Weirdo.

 

The Chavs are a bit touchy at the moment.

 

Oi, are you calling me a chav?

 

So, I told him...

 

They run a chatline

 

and all claim to have slept with
a member of the Royal Family.

 

When you've dropped that many
US bonds in the market, begin trading...

 

KELLY: Refused credit?

 

Talk to the Geeks.

 

What about this lot? Are they asleep?

 

(Eerie whistling)

 

Goths.

 

We're not Goths, we're Emos.

 

What are Emos?

 

Emotionally unstable.

 

First years.

 

(Chatter)

 

Fulchester's answer to The Sopranos.

 

This is you.

 

ANNABELLE: What are they betting on?

 

How long you'll last.

 

♪ And oh, my God, I can't believe it

 

♪ I've never been this far away from home

 

♪ And oh, my God, I can't believe it

 

♪ I've never been this far away from home

 

♪ And oh, my God, I can't believe it

 

♪ I've never been this far away from...

 

All right, girls.

 

We're live on YouTube.

 

Hm.

 

(Screams)

 

(Laughter)

 

Now we'll see what she's made of.

 

(Astonished gasps)

 

(Thud)

 

New girl.

 

- (Whispers) Daddy?
- Hello?

 

- Sorry, Daddy, did I wake you?
- What is it, darling?

 

I want you to come and pick me up
from this hell hole right now.

 

I've been broadcast on the internet.

 

(Chuckles) It's like a schoolgirl prank, that's all.

 

Naked, Daddy!
(Whispers) I want you to get me now.

 

- (Woman laughs)
- Who's that?

 

Nobody, darling. I'm tucked up in bed
watching Desperate Housewives.

 

(Static interference)

 

Daddy, are you coming or not?

 

I'm losing you, darling. Cc-hhh!

 

Hello? Hello?

 

Cc-hhh!

 

Ohh!

 

Annabelle Fritton!

 

Uh...er...

 

I can't believe what you just did.

 

I'm sorry, miss.

 

I don't know what came over me.

 

I've been looking for someone
with a shot like that.

 

I'm drafting you into the hockey team
as of today.

 

♪ THE ORDINARY BOYS:
Nine2Five

 

He's here.

 

♪ Oh, my gosh, my days are getting longer

 

♪ And there's no turning back,
I'm working the nine to five

 

♪ Just to keep my contract

 

♪ Did I say nine? I meant 1 :30

 

♪ I ain't no early birdy,
I'm working the nine to five

 

Bonsoir, nitwits.

 

Evening. Make it silver.

 

♪ So you gotta do some idents,
what channel are you?

 

♪ Channel who?
Sorry I'm haltered for a snooze

 

♪ Oh, Channel U,
the ones that made me huge

 

♪ Like Katie Price's boobs

 

♪ Whoops! I'm being rude

 

♪ Where's my Red Bull
and my sandwich? I need food!

 

♪ I can't handle this

 

♪ I'm getting...like Pampers throwing a tantrum

 

♪ Oh, my gosh, my days are getting longer

 

♪ And there's no turning back,
I'm working the nine to five

 

♪ Just to keep my contract

 

♪ Did I say nine? I meant 1 :30

 

♪ I ain't no early birdy,
I'm working the nine to five

 

Well, I um...love the new packaging, girls.

 

But what about the problems
we had with the last batch?

 

Problems, Flash?

 

Yeah, the slightly bitter aftertaste,

 

people going blind after the second glass...

 

that lady what died...

 

She was old. She could have gone at any time.

 

She was 38.

 

Yeah?

 

Anoushka. Come here, girl.

 

- Na zdorovye!
- Abramovich.

 

(Glass smashes, girl screams)

 

Are you all right?

 

- No problem, Flash.
- We got ourselves a deal, then.

 

Excellent.

 

If that's permanent...

 

I'll see you in court.

 

Just be aware of that.

 

Ta-da!

 

Nice. Wow. What have we here?

 

It looks lovely, anyway.

 

Like Christmas. What's this, then?

 

Like, sweets, is it? A cigar?

 

Hey, look at me.

 

- They're tampons, Flash.
- What?! Oh!

 

- Designer tampons.
- Why? Why do you do that?

 

A woman doesn't only want to look
beautiful on the outside.

 

I can't sell a product I don't believe in. Come on.

 

You wanted a word, Flash?

 

Ooh, yeah. All right, girls.

 

Yeah, well, carry on.

 

Keep at it.

 

Yes. Um...

 

I was wondering if you could have
a word with the Maths Department.

 

What's the problem?

 

They're very keen to place a bet and that,

 

but they're not so forthcoming
when it comes to squaring it with the bookie,

 

if you get my drift.

 

Teachers.
Keeping them in line is a full-time occupation.

 

Kell, um...

 

A new Chinese opened in the high street.

 

Apparently it's handsome.

 

I wondered if you weren't too busy,
maybe one night this week.

 

Shoot me down in flames if it's not a good idea,
but I thought we could pop along, the two of us.

 

- I don't think so, Flash.
- No. Stupid idea.

 

I don't mix business with pleasure.

 

And I've got a lot on.

 

Very busy.

 

Busy with all my...gear here, so...

 

♪ And there's no turning back,
I'm working the nine to five

 

♪ Just to keep my contract...

 

- Nice work on the paint job.
- Night, Flash.

 

- Auf Wiedersehen, girls.
- See you soon.

 

Incoming. 10 degrees south, possible hostile.

 

Intruder located.

 

First years, into position.

 

GIRLS: Morning, Miss.

 

(Splash)
- Oh!

 

(Laughter)

 

But we still need to pay the staff.

 

Otherwise they'll go out on strike.

 

Not now, Bursar.

 

Miss Fritton, if we don't take
a firm grasp of this situation,

 

then St Trinian's will have to...

 

Not now.

 

(Buzzer)

 

Some dosser's just pitched up.

 

She claims she's our new English teacher.
She doesn't look like it.

 

She looks like she hasn't got a pot to piss in.

 

- Beverly.
- Sorry, Miss Fritton.

 

She doesn't look like she's got a pot
in which to piss.

 

That's better.

 

Ah, Miss Fritton,
my references and qualifications.

 

Oh, my dear, how lovely.

 

That you made it down the drive
is qualification enough.

 

I daresay you'll do very well.

 

The agency tells me you've lost
four English teachers in six months.

 

Very careless of us.

 

I expect they'll turn up.

 

Moorcroft! Tuck that shirt in!

 

- Sorry, Miss.
- (Girl screams, thud)

 

(Laughter from below)

 

(Teacher speaks in Spanish)

 

(Girls recite)

 

Muybien, chicas.

 

How do you feel, girls?

 

- Much better, Miss.
- Anger management. Carry on.

 

No. No, no, no. You will get paid.

 

I promise.

 

Everyone...

 

I'd like to introduce you to
our new English teacher. Miss Dickinson.

 

Hello.

 

Welcome.

 

You must try my latest concoction.
It's a real beauty.

 

- I call it The Gerald.
- The Gerald.

 

After my first husband.

 

Cheap, bitter and completely alcoholic.

 

- Have you been drinking again?
- No. no.

 

Just a little breathless.

 

Go on. I'm dying to know what you think.

 

I...I'm teetotal, I'm afraid.

 

(Wind whistles)

 

But I do like having fun
as much as the next person.

 

In fact, I'd love it if we could all
get involved in School Challenge.

 

TV quiz show.

 

Popular at my last school

 

and tremendous fun
for both pupils and teachers.

 

- Good morning, everyone.
- Morning, Mr Thwaites.

 

Please, sit.

 

Now, as you know all too well,

 

our nation's schools have been blighted
by the false kindness

 

of namby-pamby, touchy-feely policies
for far too long.

 

Badly behaved children don't need
an arm around the shoulder.

 

They need a good kick up the arse.

 

May we say "shot in the arm," sir?
For the tabloids?

 

Say what you need to say.
The important thing is what we do.

 

I intend to start with the worst schools
in the country.

 

But that would mean St Trinian's, sir.

 

- What's the matter with him?
- Five years ago he went to...

 

that place undercover.

 

He's suffered severe
and recurrent trauma ever since.

 

Really? From a bunch of naughty schoolgirls?

 

You wouldn't know, man. You weren't there.

 

When I overhauled the prison service,

 

I began by tackling the most fractious,
lawless and feared institutions around.

 

Once I'd dealt with those,
the others simply fell into place.

 

We'll take the same approach with St Trinian's.

 

Be afraid, sir. Be very afraid.

 

Right. On my command, unleash hell.

 

(Shouting)

 

- Daddy!
- Hello, darling.

 

Daddy, look!

 

They're bloody animals.

 

Animals! I'm going to kill them!

 

Try to remember
what your behavioural therapist said. Run along.

 

We've entered bedlam. The very gates of hell.

 

I don't understand
why you didn't close this place years ago.

 

Because, Miss Bagstock,
they can change. And they will.

 

(Laughs)

 

Not this lot. You'd understand
if you met their headmistress.

 

Between you and l,
she's worse than the children.

 

A Miss Fritton.

 

Camilla.

 

♪ Love Is A Many Splendoured Thing

 

That's right. Completely barking mad.
Have you heard of her?

 

Ah, Miss Bagstock.

 

Your girlish laughter
hit me like the lash of a hunting crop.

 

Miss Fritton, I don't expect you've met
our new Minister of Education.

 

♪ Love is a many splendoured thing

 

- Geoffrey.
- Miss Fritton.

 

- So you have met?
- University.

 

We were the toast of the dramatic society.

 

Oh, Geoffrey.

 

Another time...

 

Another Country.

 

(Camilla laughs) To what do I owe the pleasure?

 

I've heard that your school is a hotbed
of anarchy, ill-discipline...

 

Oh.

 

..and your academic results are a disaster.

 

- So I'm here to help.
- How lovely.

 

I've got some shelves that need putting up
and the kitchens need a good scrub.

 

Unsanitary catering facilities.
I'll add that to the list.

 

You know, I think you'll find
you and I both want the same things.

 

We just happen to be sitting on
different sides of the table.

 

Table? Mortuary slab, I'd say, Geoffrey.

 

You want to straitjacket us
with your limited curriculum,

 

which has become nothing more than
state-circulated Chinese whispers

 

and you call it education.

 

You've changed, Geoffrey.

 

You haven't.

 

(Panting)

 

I think Mr Darcy likes you.

 

(Mr Darcy yelps, then whimpers)

 

Let it dry, and then a good stiff brush.

 

Oh, my God. It's Verity Thwaites.
She's a total psycho.

 

Come on, Cheltenham Ladies.
Show them what you're made of.

 

The important thing is not to provoke her.

 

(Chanting) Who let the dogs out?
Who? Who? Who-who?

 

Who let the dogs out? Who? Who? Who-who?

 

Who let the dogs out? Who? Who? Who-who?

 

So, what do you think of my girls?

 

- Hawes!
- I beg your pardon?

 

Jemma Hawes, pull your socks up.
You're a Cheltenham Lady.

 

I'm sure your girls will try their very best.

 

But It's not the winning that matters.
It's the taking part that counts.

 

Snooty cow.

 

Sorry?

 

Emily Snooty-Cow, do remember to stretch.

 

Jolly good. Jolly good.

 

Girls!

 

Look who it is.

 

It's Annabelle the Cannibal.

 

(Hisses)

 

What's that all about?

 

I used to eat people.

 

What?

 

I used to have braces
and bits of food got stuck in them.

 

Nice.

 

(Sombre organ music)

 

OK, girls, let's play clean.

 

No biting, scratching, kicking.

 

No gouging.

 

No headbutting, no punching.

 

No slapping, spitting. No um...

 

No gouging.

 

And um...no non-regulation equipment.

 

Janey, I'm talking to you.

 

OK, into position.

 

VERITY: Come on, girls, let's take them down.

 

CROWD: Ooh!

 

On you go, Matron.

 

Right you are.

 

You do know the rules, don't you?

 

Nope.

 

Oh.

 

(Blows whistle frantically)

 

- Good shot!
- Yes!

 

Yes!

 

(Snores)

 

- Barbed wire?
- Check.

 

- Crowbar?
- Check.

 

- Wheel clamp.
- Check.

 

- Follow the tools, girls.
- Wait for me.

 

Hurry up, slow coach.

 

- He didn't?
- He did!

 

It was just so disgusting. (Giggles)

 

It was still quite funny.

 

But then I said to him, "You didn't? "

 

And he said, "l did."

 

- He didn't?
- He did. Just imagine!

 

(Phone rings)

 

Posh Totty.

 

Hello, big boy.

 

Shoo, shoo, shoo. Shoo.

 

I'm wearing my school uniform, silly.

 

Although, I'm about to get changed
into my gym kit.

 

I did really well in my last oral.

 

Although I did find it a bit of a mouthful at first.

 

But Miss says if I practise as often as I can,

 

I could become Head Girl.

 

(Chanting)

 

We're onto you, so watch your backs!

 

Feel the fear. We're maniacs!

 

St Trinian's!

 

M-A-N-l-A-C. St Trinian's!

 

Look out.

 

(Cheering)

 

♪ NOISETTES: Don't Give Up

 

♪ If I tried to tell you to do what for?

 

♪ Can't you see life's knocking right at your door

 

♪ I just don't know for sure

 

(Whistle blows)

 

♪ Don't give up, don't give up

 

♪ Don't give up, don't give up

 

♪ Don't give up, don't give up

 

♪ Don't give up, don't give up!

 

(Jeering)

 

(Booing)

 

Does anybody have any smelling salts?

 

No, but I've got poppers.

 

Go, girlie! Go, girlie!

 

♪ Can't you see life's knocking right at your door

 

- (Booing)
- Fair play.

 

♪ What if I tried to tell you to do what for

 

♪ Don't give up, don't give up

 

♪ Don't give up, don't give up

 

♪ Don't give up, don't give up

 

♪ Don't give up, don't give up!

 

Girlie, girlie, girlie! Ha-ha!

 

I know it's very hard, Charles,

 

and most of the girls hate it

 

but I really like Greek.

 

Charles? Charles?

 

Are you there?

 

(Phone rings)

 

What's that?

 

Is that yours?

 

You wouldn't know the way to
the hockey pitch, would you?

 

Wargh!

 

Short corner to St Trinian's.

 

(Whistle)

 

Go!

 

(Snarls)

 

You're dead.

 

Yes!

 

♪ Are teenage dreams so hard to beat?

 

♪ Every time he walks down the street

 

♪ Another boy in my neighbourhood

 

♪ Wish he was mine, he looks so good

 

♪ I want to hold him, want to hold him tight

 

♪ I get teenage kicks right through the night

 

Geoffrey, where on earth have you been?

 

You're running quite an exotic
establishment here, Miss Fritton.

 

- What a lovely thing to say.
- What have they done to you?

 

(Muffled cries)

 

I quite agree. The best team did win.

 

I suppose the lesson is,
don't mess with St Trinian's.

 

We do play a little rough.

 

We can all play rough, Camilla.

 

Maybe we'll be seeing a little more
of one another.

 

I'll make sure of it.

 

♪ I want to hold him, want to hold him tight

 

♪ Get teenage kicks right through the night

 

♪ All right!

 

(Snoring)

 

Ah!

 

(Whispers) Beverly. Beverly.

 

(Mouths)

 

(Clattering)
- Ow!

 

Beverly, would you like to offer
this gentleman something to drink?

 

Sorry, how rude of me.

 

I'm...I'm afraid after last night
we've only got Smirnoff.

 

- Tea, Beverly.
- Or tea.

 

Yeah, sorry. Tea, tea, tea...

 

We're not here to drink tea, Miss Fritton.

 

You owe the bank over ￡500,000.

 

Aren't you lucky?
Christmas bonuses all round, I expect.

 

Because of your decision to ignore
our six previous final demands,

 

I am forced to serve you with this
foreclosure notice.

 

Final demand? How can there be
more than one final demand?

 

Which is the final, final demand?

 

I can't believe you haven't told me about this.

 

Well, actually, I did try to tell you.

 

Not now, Bursar. Beverly, where's that tea?

 

You can't just pull the plug on us,
like some underperforming hairdressing salon.

 

This is an institution of learning, sir,
and I have a duty of care.

 

I don't answer to you, I answer to my girls.

 

Girls who find shelter in no other schools.

 

A bunch of delinquents
and playground terrorists.

 

One man's terrorist
is another woman's freedom fighter, Mr...

 

..Bank Manager.

 

You have four weeks to repay
the outstanding balance...

 

or this school...

 

is declared officially bankrupt.

 

Tea.

 

♪ Uh-oh, we're in trouble

 

♪ Something's come along
and it's burst our bubble...

 

Houston, we have a problem.

 

♪ Gotta make a dash
for the cash on the double

 

♪ The party was great, yeah

 

♪ We were really thrilled

 

♪ But the bank man came
and we're gonna get killed

 

♪ We got some style but we got no money

 

♪ Now the joke's on us...

 

- (Shouting)
- Quiet, everyone!

 

(Piercing whistle)

 

(Silence)

 

St Trinian's is closing down.

 

(Cheering)

 

We're facing the biggest crisis of our lives
and you're behaving like bloody children.

 

If this place closes down,
we have to go to other schools,

 

and by that I mean normal schools.

 

(Silence)

 

♪ Uh-oh, we're in trouble

 

♪ We're deep in doo-doo
and we don't have a shovel...

 

Thank you, Matron.

 

Mm... Oh...

 

A dark cloud hangs over the school, Beverly.

 

I know all about that one, Miss Fritton.

 

Sits on top of me every Monday
when I'm on a comedown.

 

Do you know what you've got to do?

 

You gotta get your serotonin levels
back in whack.

 

Red ones bring you up
and blue ones bring you down.

 

I believe in a healthy balance.
I'll have one of each.

 

Thank you.

 

Mm. Delicious.

 

- Oh, darling!
- Daddy! I'll get my stuff and we'll go.

 

- What?
- That's why you're here, isn't it?

 

No, we'll...talk later, darling. Milla.

 

Oi.

 

You might wanna see this.

 

A boutique hotel?
But this is my school, Carnaby.

 

The bank's school, Camilla.
And when they shut you down,

 

you will have lost everything -
and more importantly, so will l.

 

The good news is, I've a pal in property.

 

Oh, Milla, do listen.

 

I think I've come up with a solution
that could benefit us both.

 

If we move fast, sell the place now,

 

we can repay the debt and er...split the profits.

 

Looks like your old man's
selling us down the river.

 

No. Daddy wouldn't do anything like that.

 

What about the girls?

 

What would happen to my dear girls?

 

You can stop the Miss Jean Brodie act,
now, Milla. It's me you're talking to.

 

- What about Annabelle?
- I don't know what to make of that girl.

 

A bit of a drip, if you ask me.

 

I sometimes wonder if she's actually mine.

 

Still a daddy's girl, eh?

 

You're wrong about her, Carnaby.

 

In there, there's a Fritton.

 

She's got the true family stripe,
which is more than I can say about you.

 

- You snake in the grass.
- Let's face it, little sister.

 

This dump is history.

 

(Growls)

 

- Oh.
(Thud)

 

It's no use relying on the grown-ups.

 

We need to sort this out ourselves.

 

Now, the subject of today's lesson is crime.

 

Yeah? All right? You're liking me now.

 

So, for every need, there is a misdeed.

 

And what our need is,
in this particular instance, girls,

 

is to get our hands on half a bar.

 

That's half a million pounds, for you little ladies.

 

- Any ideas? Who's got an idea?
- (Girls call out)

 

Anyone? Yes?

 

Shut up! You!

 

- What about extortion?
- Excellent. Well done.

 

Yes.

 

Brilliant. Extortion.

 

Now, I know a lot of people think
the old, "Give me your money or else,"

 

is a bit old hat, but it's a classic,
it's perennial, possible.

 

Good work. Now, who else has got any ideas?

 

- Go on, Celia.
- Confidence trickery.

 

Confidence trickery. Excellent!

 

- Credit card fraud.
- Credit card fraud.

 

- Kidnapping, Flash.
- Kidnapping!

 

That is more like it. Kid...napping!

 

So, we take a rich man's wife...

 

- Excellent.
-..cut off her ear...

 

and then send it to him special delivery.

 

And then...we just keep chopping...

 

-..bits of her off...
- (Girls all groan)

 

..until he pays the ransom.

 

(Giggling)

 

You shouldn't be laughing at that.
That is too much evil.

 

You should see a counsellor.
Don't leave her on her own.

 

(Soft creak)
- Come in, don't loiter in the doorway.

 

I didn't know you painted, Auntie.

 

Miss.

 

Just having a little bit of "me" time.

 

Once upon a time
I used to think of it as a career.

 

It's jolly good. Did you sell many paintings?

 

Not under my own name.

 

I took it up when I was recovering
from a broken heart.

 

We Fritton women are made of sturdy stuff

 

but we do need an emotional outlet,
don't we, dear?

 

Hit me. Come on, girlie, hit me!

 

Come on, come on.

 

- Come on, girlie, girlie!
- I can't!

 

You can. Let out your frustrations.

 

Inhale your anger
and let it all out with a good right hook.

 

Go on.

 

I see.

 

Turn your mind to something or someone
who really makes your blood boil. Hm?

 

A snake in the grass
who betrays his family ties

 

as easily as he betrays his word.

 

An unconscionable shit.
A complete and utter...

 

(Roars)

 

Oh...

 

Welcome to the fold, girlie.

 

Help your old auntie up.

 

- Rah!
- (Squeals)

 

(Chuckles) Oh, poor girl.
Let's have a whisky.

 

Come on, ladies, we need to think big.
Open your minds real wide.

 

(All call out)

 

You gotta search
for the criminal inside yourself. Yes!

 

BOTH: Theft.

 

Theft. Finally. Now you're talking.

 

Excellent. Theft.

 

- Good work.
- Bank of England?

 

Bank of England too big.

 

- Woolworths.
- Too small. Just sweets.

 

Come on, think about it. I'm telling you...

 

If you don't use your noggins,
we ain't gonna get this dough together.

 

I see erm... Yes... Kelly.

 

What about that?

 

(Gasps)

 

(In unison) Oh, my God!

 

You want to steal Scarlett Johansson?

 

You are so blonde, Chelsea.

 

That is one of the most
valuable paintings in the world.

 

And it is here now.

 

We steal it and then we fence it.

 

You'd be able to flog it for us, Flash,
wouldn't you?

 

Well, erm...

 

It's probably a bit out of my league, Kel.

 

Number 7.

 

The Heist.

 

Girls, it's time we organised a school trip.

 

Girls, please. Remember we have
the school's reputation to uphold.

 

(Screaming)

 

Oi.

 

Bingo.

 

Wow.

 

You can so see why
Colin Firth wanted to shag her.

 

Yeah, but you could spruce it up with
a dash of colour and some accessories.

 

I'm thinking, lose the earrings
and go for some big gold hoops.

 

Ciao-ciao.

 

- So?
- OK.

 

They've got 28 CCTV cameras
on separate circuits.

 

Four shifts of 1 2 armed guards
patrol the galleries 24 hours a day.

 

Pressure alarms, invisible random lasers,

 

and hydraulically-operated
reinforced steel shutters.

 

Golly!

 

- So?
- We're talking Mission: Impossible.

 

- That's a no?
- If Tom Cruise can do it, so can we.

 

Yeah, yeah, but the real problem is,
how do we get into the building?

 

We need some kind of cover.

 

Any bright ideas?

 

So, are we good?

 

It's such a pity none of you want to give
School Challenge a shot.

 

It would be so much fun.

 

I only mention it because
the final takes place right here.

 

KELLY: What did you say?
- The final will be televised here.

 

In the Grand Hall.

 

The location: Trafalgar Square.

 

The target: National Gallery.

 

This is where our trailer base is.

 

- And the distance?
- 1 1 4 metres.

 

OK, let's get animated.

 

So, here we are -
one of the world's busiest squares.

 

And Big Brother will definitely be watching us,

 

with a surveillance camera on every wall,

 

and security guards at every turn.

 

So, we use the trailer as cover
and take the sewers.

 

(Girls groan)

 

- Nasty.
- Who's that?

 

- Ha-ha! Taylor.
- What?

 

- (Laughter)
- Why me?

 

I don't know what you're looking
so pleased about, Andrea.

 

- You're coming as well.
- Shut up!

 

Me and the Corpse Bride? I don't think so.

 

Drop the attitude, Taylor.

 

- Polly.
- Now...

 

When you get in the sewers,
you have to get through these iron gates.

 

- Eugh!
- (Laughs)

 

(Laughs)

 

(Mouse squeaks)

 

We have double chemistry tomorrow.

 

BOTH: We'll start on the explosives.
- Good work.

 

Once inside, you'll make your way
through to the balcony,

 

which overlooks the Grand Hall.

 

Then you take the zip wire over the audience,

 

while the show is being recorded.

 

It's like 1 0 metres high.

 

11.3, actually.

 

So after we've got through the rank sewers,
iron gates, security guards...

 

And then we've done a live wire act
over the audience,

 

I suppose you want us to swim
the Channel, and then...

 

- climb a mountain...
-..as well!

 

No. You just have to get through these.

 

Invisible random lasers

 

with pressure alarms that trigger
hydraulically-operated steel shutters.

 

All sounds frightfully exciting, doesn't it?

 

As for the explosives, girls,

 

I'd go for RDX rather than Trinitrotoluene.

 

There's nothing worse than rogue C-4.

 

BOTH: Yes, Miss.

 

But all this will be a complete waste of time
unless we get to the Final.

 

Oh, God, yeah.

 

So, girls...how do you plan to get us there?

 

That's not a problem.

 

Get yourself on camera
and the world can be your oyster.

 

One day you're on School Challenge,
the next it's Love Island.

 

Soon you've married a footballer
and bought the Bahamas.

 

But easy, now, girls,
because if you don't take that moment,

 

blink...and it's back to obscurity.

 

KELLY: Oi, girls. Jog on.

 

- So who...
- JJ French.

 

Our last Head Girl, now turned PR guru.

 

People want soap opera.

 

They want to know how to get your look.
What diet you're on.

 

They want to know all about your broken hearts

 

and your fashion disasters.

 

But keep them talking, that's the game.

 

That's genius.

 

Then why isn't everybody famous?

 

Because they don't have me.

 

You need to play an angle.

 

Look at Liz Hurley.
She wore that dress and what happened?

 

An acting career, her own clothing line

 

and a 1 5-page wedding in Hello! magazine.

 

Now that's genius.

 

OK, so here's a little tip I learned from Paris.

 

- Hilton?
- France.

 

Put on a pair of YSL's and the whole world
will think you're a total brainiac.

 

(Giggling)

 

(Cheering)

 

You are welcome to join us
on our quizzical quest

 

to find the brightest of sparks,
the smartest of alecks,

 

the very pluperfect of pupils

 

in this year's battle to find
the champions of School Challenge.

 

On my right in the red corner
we have Ample forth College.

 

And on my left in the blue corner
it's Peaches, Chelsea and Chloe

 

- from St T rinian's!
- (Cheering)

 

What term is applied to a restraint
on the expansion of an economy

 

as a result of governmental taxation policy

 

whereby a rise in inflation
causes a larger proportion

 

of wage earners' income to be paid in tax?

 

(Ping)

 

Chelsea, St T rinian's.

 

Fiscal drag.

 

Fiscal drag is the right answer.

 

- (Cheering)
- Well done. Five points.

 

- Which Roman poet...
- (Ping)

 

Peaches, St Trinian's.

 

Ovid.

 

Ovid is the answer I have on the card.

 

(Cheering)

 

- Who wrote...
- (Ping)

 

Charles Dickens.

 

..is the right answer. Well, I'm sorry, Ampleforth,

 

you're up against a team
at the very top of their form.

 

Quickly.

 

- Which Tchaikovsky overture...
(Ping)

 

1 81 2.

 

Is the correct answer.

 

(Bell)
- There goes the school bell,

 

with the scores standing at...

 

..which means, I'm sorry to say,
Ampleforth College,

 

we have to bid farewell to you.

 

ALL: Loser! Loser!

 

Loser!

 

So...

 

how are we going to beat Bedales?

 

CELIA: Magic.

 

The kind you get in mushrooms.

 

- Hi.
- Hi.

 

Anyone for camomile tea?

 

- Yes.
- Thanks.

 

In which Shakespeare play would you
find the following stage directions:

 

"Exit, pursued by a bear"?

 

(Buzzer)

 

Yes. Chas. Bedales.

 

- Was it Winnie the Pooh?
- (Laughter)

 

(Continuous buzzing)

 

Caspar...

 

- Are you buzzing, Caspar?
- Oh, yeah.

 

You've had your chance.

 

You've buzzed... What are you doing?

 

What are you doing? Chas! I'm being touched.

 

Derek, I'm being touched. Derek!

 

(Ping)

 

Sure, just sign the deal
and I'll make sure she says the brand live on air.

 

- Apple.
- Apple...is the right answer.

 

(Cheering)

 

Know-it-all nymphets from St Trinian's.

 

Oh, come on, Eton.
I'm going to have to hurry you.

 

No, it's gone.

 

(Bell)

 

And so has the bell!

 

And er...on that note, I'm afraid we leave Eton...

 

(Thud)

 

..and congratulate our glorious
and glamorous victresses,

 

who will go on, next week,

 

to the grand final to meet
Cheltenham Ladies' College.

 

It is, of course, St Trinian's.

 

(Cheering and chanting)

 

Are we going to close down St Trinian's?

 

THWAITES: No, they're more use to us alive.

 

You see, as things stand,
they're the perfect symbol of misguided youth.

 

They're a beacon of ill-discipline
in need of correction.

 

I'm going to make an example of them.
I'll break their spirit.

 

They will conform.

 

It's time the world saw
what we've been dealing with.

 

Show them the problem...then fix it.

 

The press pack is panting, Peter.

 

It's time we let them loose.

 

Hang on.

 

You want me, a man of my calibre...

 

..just to...bowl into some gallery in London,

 

waltz up to your old man

 

and offer to flog him a Vermeer for half a bar?

 

It won't be you. It will be this guy.

 

Gerhard Von Strubel,
the most elusive art dealer in the world.

 

You want me to pretend to be some...

 

art bloke?

 

They've never met,

 

but my father would do anything
to do business with him.

 

No, I'm sorry, I don't fancy it. No.

 

KELLY: What's wrong?

 

Not up to it, Flash?

 

I told you, Annabelle.

 

Hold on, hold on.
I didn't say I wouldn't do it.

 

Come on, give us a look at it.
I'll give anything a try once.

 

So, erm...

 

What's he like, then, this von Strubel mug?

 

- He's a count.
- He sounds like one!

 

No, he's posh. I can do posh, look.

 

Oh, la-di-dah! Shall we go hunting?

 

But can you do German?

 

Yeah, of course I can. Ah, mon freuer...

 

Strindberg, Wiederkind, Jurgen Klinsmann...

 

It'll be all right on the night.
Just give me a little bit of time.

 

What's he erm... What's he look like?

 

Well, all I've heard is that he's successful...

 

erudite and handsome.

 

Oh, I almost forgot. He's also very, very gay.

 

(Chokes)

 

(Whistle)

 

Scramble! Black Eagle, one o'clock!

 

Ready to make the front pages, Minister?

 

Peter, the only things
the public wants to read about

 

are mayhem, misery and disaster.

 

So we'll be fine.

 

Thank you for coming, gentlemen, ladies.

 

What you're about to witness
is the disgraceful result

 

of 1 5 years of political indifference.

 

Schools like this one are weeds.

 

Long neglected, they've been
allowed to grow wild and unruly.

 

- And you're the weedkiller, Minister?
- I like it, Denise.

 

Code Red!

 

Code Red!

 

People have often criticised my methods.

 

They say I'm too aggressive,
hard-line, whatever.

 

But what I'm about to show you...

 

..is the appalling alternative.

 

It looks rather pleasant, if you ask me.

 

You were only supposed
to blow the bloody doors off.

 

Minister! Minister?

 

Code Red!

 

Morning.

 

Er...are you lot from t'Inland Revenue?

 

No.

 

Phew!

 

Quickly, quickly.

 

Ready?

 

..when the sixth hour was come,
there was a darkness over...

 

How can I help you?

 

And some of them stood by
when they heard the saint...

 

They're bound to slip up sooner or later.

 

(Clattering)

 

Christ! He's coming this way!

 

We're never gonna make it!

 

Who are you?

 

I know your daughter.

 

You're friends with Verity?

 

I was at Cheltenham with her.

 

She was the school bully
and I was one of her favourite victims.

 

DENISE: Really?

 

So, Minister, your daughter was the school bully.

 

And what's it like being at St Trinian's?

 

Oh, it's like...

 

one big, happy...
if slightly dysfunctional...family.

 

A bastard profanes the English throne.

 

The generous Britons are cheated by a juggler.

 

Geoffrey. What a surprise!

 

What's going on, Miss Fritton?

 

The girls are hard at work,

 

and their headmistress
is rehearsing the role of a lifetime.

 

Don't you think I make a remarkable queen?

 

You're up to something,
and I will get to the bottom of it.

 

I will expose you.

 

Well, you'll have to at least
buy me dinner first.

 

Oh, Geoffrey.

 

Oh, not again.

 

(Snarls)

 

Aar-rooo!

 

Not quite the headline we had in mind, Minister.

 

(Suppressed giggling)

 

(Screams)

 

(Snarls)

 

You've had this coming
since the day you arrived, Fritton.

 

What are you going to do to me?

 

Give you a makeover, silly.

 

♪ SUGABABES:
3 Spoons Of Suga

 

♪ She likes to dress
like she's fresh out of a magazine

 

♪ She struts around
getting down to her record machine

 

♪ It's clear that she enjoys teasing all the boys

 

♪ They always say
that you'll remember her name

 

♪ Because she's got it

 

♪ She's got it right down

 

♪ And all the guys say

 

♪ I need three spoons of sugar
in a glass full of liquor

 

♪ To get over you

 

♪ I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy
to cure the sugar rush

 

♪ I can't get over you

 

♪ Gimme something in my coffee

 

♪ Gimme thrills, take my money

 

♪ Can't get over you

 

So...how do you feel?

 

Like a St Trinian.

 

♪ I need three spoons of sugar
in a glass full of liquor

 

♪ To get over you

 

♪ Gimme something in my coffee

 

♪ Gimme thrills, take my money

 

♪ Can't get over you

 

♪ I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy
to cure the sugar rush

 

♪ I can't get over you

 

Ah, Lavinia.

 

Are you tempted by our caped crusader?

 

(Chuckles)

 

(German accent)
Gah! Why is it that the first face I see

 

is not only the handsomest face in this room

 

but also the very face I came here to talk to?

 

It must be fate.

 

You are?

 

German.

 

Whereabouts in Germany?

 

Bayern Munich.

 

That's a football team.

 

Yes...and I am their number one fan.

 

Please, don't go. I didn't mean to offend you.

 

It's just... I get very lonely being German.

 

And a bigwig in the art world.

 

- I imagine.
- And gay.

 

- Would you...
- Ohh!

 

Whoopsie-daisy! Gerhard, Gerhard, Gerhard!

 

Oh, my God.

 

You're not Count Gerhard von...

 

Sshh, please!

 

I'm trying to keep a low profile.

 

One of the great masterpieces has just
become available on the black market.

 

Which masterpiece are you talking about?

 

Well, it's actually rather a big deal.

 

A little out of your league, perhaps.

 

Perhaps it's something you'd er...

 

prefer to discuss over dinner.

 

What?

 

Well, you said how...lonely you are.

 

We could er...spend some time together.

 

A nice candlelit dinner,

 

a stroll along the beach...

 

..just the two of us...

 

..barefoot in the surf.

 

And then...

 

..back to my place.

 

Or I could just...tell you now.

 

- Oh, yes, OK.
- Good, it's better.

 

The masterpiece is the...

 

The Girl With The Pearl Earring.

 

Really?

 

(Sombre music)

 

The ultimate price was paid by one...

 

..who laid down his life...

 

for his sisters and his school.

 

No greater love hath any dog...

 

..than this.

 

(Sniffs) I'm sorry.

 

This one's for Mr Darcy!

 

(Cheering)

 

♪ GIRLS ALOUD:
On My Way To Satisfaction

 

♪ Hey, yeah, yeah

 

♪ Don't you know I saved a spot for you?

 

♪ And l-l-l

 

♪ I wanna introduce you to my crew

 

♪ So what do you say?

 

♪ Am I gonna get my way?

 

♪ I don't need your permission

 

♪ You're uptight and it don't look right

 

♪ You've gotta share my vision

 

♪ On my way

 

♪ To satisfaction

 

♪ How I love

 

♪ Your reaction

 

♪ On my way

 

♪ To satisfaction

 

♪ How I love

 

♪ Yeah

 

♪ Your reaction

 

Minister?

 

This school you very publicly condemned
is now in the final of School Challenge.

 

A little embarrassing for your department,
is it not? Like to comment?

 

No, Denise, I wouldn't.

 

I'm here in a private capacity
to support my daughter's school.

 

No more photos now, please, gentlemen.

 

REPORTER: One question.

 

Excuse, can I just...

 

I'm sorry, you can't go in there.

 

What? But I...

 

The team's going through
some intense preparations.

 

(Power tool whirring)

 

Eurgh!

 

OK. Picture's up.

 

Tania, what are you doing?

 

You're 1 0.

 

And you're carrying high explosives.

 

It's not what you think, Kell.

 

It's for the smell.

 

We saw it on CSI.

 

Oh.

 

Good luck, girls.

 

(Cheering and applause)

 

(Theme tune intro)

 

- Annabelle?
- Wait for it.

 

Hello and welcome to no less an institution
than the National Gallery,

 

in London itself,

 

where we're proud to welcome you to
the grand final of School Challenge.

 

(Whooping)

 

OK. Now.

 

(Dull thud)

 

Girls? Girls, hello.

 

What's happened?

 

Come in, come in. Speak to me.

 

- (Groaning)
- Oh, look.

 

BOTH: That was wicked.

 

OK, girls, let's rock'n'roll.

 

I love what you've done with the place.

 

There's no time for this. Concentrate.

 

Who was burned at the stake for
the crime of wearing men's clothes?

 

(Buzzer)
- Peaches. St Trinian's.

 

Joan of Arc.

 

Joe Nafark.

 

Joan of Arc is the right answer.
Five points to St Trinian's.

 

Plenty of time yet, ladies from Cheltenham.

 

OK, it looks like you're clear.

 

(Door slams)

 

What's happening?

 

Speak to me.

 

(Crying)

 

What are you doing here?

 

We got stuck in the toilet.

 

We thought our mummy
would come and get us but nobody did.

 

We were scared.

 

You're safe now. Come on.

 

Come on.

 

Which Latin phrase defines
the common-law legal action or writ

 

which is the means by which
detainees can seek relief

 

from unlawful imprisonment?

 

Yes! Chelsea, St Trinian's.

 

Is it...um...

 

I think it might possibly be...

 

Um...

 

Habeas corpus.

 

Habeas corpus is the right answer.
They are on fire, Cheltenham.

 

(Cheering and whooping)

 

A great English novel, published in 1 81 3,

 

was originally said to be entitled
First Impressions.

 

It's better known by another title.
Can you give me that title, please?

 

(Buzzer)
- Chelsea. St T rinian's.

 

- Pride and...
(Feedback squeal)

 

Ow!

 

That was more painful than a Brazilian wax.

 

Brazilian wax? Is that your answer?
Pride And Brazilian Wax?

 

- No! No, um...
- (Laughter)

 

(Questions continue below)

 

We need more cover.

 

Medusa.

 

Medusa is the right answer. Well done.

 

Jolly good!

 

(Whooping and cheering)

 

I'm not sure why you're cheering
quite so enthusiastically.

 

Your school is not doing too well at the moment.

 

- Go on.
- I don't want to go.

 

Get out of the way, Morticia.

 

I'm scared of heights.

 

OK. I'm coming.

 

No. One at a time.

 

Go back.

 

Come on. Quick.

 

Now, maths. How are we on maths, girls?

 

What is the volume of a sphere?

 

Yes, Peaches. You got there first.

 

Quite loud.

 

You're barking up the wrong tree there.

 

Not quite what we mean by "volume".

 

Any idea? Jemima, yes?

 

- Pi R cubed.
- Pi times the radius cubed.

 

- It is Pi R cubed.
- Bursar.

 

I've always been rather good at figures.

 

Literature. Let's see how we do here.

 

She made her first appearance
as a young girl in the novel

 

L'Assommoir by Emile Zola.

 

Yes. Chelsea, St Trinian's.

 

Kylie.

 

- (Laughter)
- No, it isn't Kylie.

 

Yes, please, Antonia.

 

That would be Nana.

 

- Nana is the right answer.
- (Applause)

 

St Trinian's lagging
after a wonderful start on 45 points

 

to Cheltenham's 120.

 

We'll take those scores into school break time.

 

Milk and buns for us,
hopscotch in the playground for you.

 

See you later.

 

This is not happening.

 

Chelsea! You can't leave!

 

You all right, babes?

 

I just wonder if I'm wasting myself
doing this platitudinous drivel.

 

Is this all there is?

 

That'll be your serotonin levels.

 

Here. I've got summat for you.

 

Red ones bring you up,
blue ones bring you down.

 

Go for your life.

 

Oh... (Whimpers)

 

Wait. Chelsea, wait.

 

No way.
There is no way I am going back in there.

 

- What's wrong, Chelsea?
- Our earpieces have stopped working.

 

Earpieces?

 

That's how we were getting the answers. Unnnh!

 

If you walk out now,
this whole thing goes up in smoke.

 

Every offer we've had
over the last six weeks will vanish.

 

No more Big Brother. No more Project Catwalk.

 

No more Celebrity Love Island.

 

You've been cheating.

 

(Sobs)

 

Just one moment, Chelsea Parker.

 

I've been watching you, you little madam...

 

..with your girlish wiles and your...saucy ways.

 

And now, it seems, your criminal cunning.

 

You know what you are, don't you?

 

(Whimpers)

 

A washed-up slapper.

 

- Smart.
- Huh?

 

Smarter than you think.

 

I am?

 

And smart is cool.

 

- It is?
- Yes.

 

And very, very sexy.

 

Really?

 

We're going to be back on in 30 seconds, OK?

 

- Where's Stephen?
- He's here. He's here. He's here.

 

I know he's here, because...I am he.

 

(Stephen laughs)

 

Oh, my darling lady girls.
Welcome back, welcome back.

 

It's the kind of glorious evening,
isn't it, gentle boys and all...

 

It's the kind of evening

 

where you want to gather
every known numpty in the universe

 

and clutch them to your bosom.

 

Let's get straight down to it.

 

Let's do it and get straight down to it.

 

Let's do it, let's do it, let's do it, let's do it now.

 

Ladies and gentlemen, first question.

 

It's another fruit. We had a fruit earlier -
we've got another fruit now.

 

This question is,
which native Brazilian tropical fruit

 

bears the Latin name ananas comosus?

 

Pawpaw. It's the pawpaw.

 

(Ping)

 

St Trinian's, Chelsea.

 

Pawpaw. Pawpaw!

 

Pawpaw! Pawpaw! Pawpaw!

 

Is it pineapple?

 

No!

 

It is pineapple.

 

- Five points to St Trinian's.
- Good.

 

OK. Well done.

 

- (Cheering)
- I don't know who St Trinian was

 

but he was watching over you then.

 

Congratulations, you're back on form.

 

So, fingers back on buzzers, please.

 

(Quiz continues in background)

 

- Othello?
STEPHEN: Othello will do.

 

(Applause)
- We've got a problem.

 

Thwaites is onto us.

 

Buggeration!

 

What is the capital of Burkina Faso?

 

(Ping)
- Yes?

 

Chloe.

 

Ouagadougou.

 

Ouagadougou is the right answer.

 

- (Cheering)
- Well done, Chloe. Congratulations.

 

I had a boyfriend from there.

 

Another five points to St Trinian's.
This is getting exciting.

 

Geoffrey!

 

You know, when I was in the prison system,

 

I encountered some of the country's top felons,

 

but your girls really are in a whole other league.

 

They are the creme de la creme.

 

What did I tell you?

 

Don't tell me. Tell it to the judge.

 

Oh, I've met some hard-boiled men in my time,

 

but...you are 20 minutes.

 

One last drink...for old times' sake?

 

I don't think so.

 

Geoffrey, where did it all go wrong?

 

You and I...

 

Where did it go wrong?

 

Was I... (Sighs)..too fickle, too...fanciful?

 

Too...much for you?

 

Maybe I will have that drink.

 

Down here!

 

Wait for me.

 

Let's dance.

 

♪ A new dawn waits for us tonight

 

♪ If you play the cards...
- Come on, focus!

 

♪ I swear I'll keep in party line

 

♪ Cross my heart and hope to die

 

♪ If I lose myself to rhythm

 

♪ Doesn't mean I lose control

 

♪ If I can't dance then I don't want

 

♪ Any part of your revolution

 

♪ Revolution

 

♪ Revolution

 

You've put me in a very difficult position, Milla.

 

Whereas on the one hand,
it's my sovereign duty to...

 

to turn you in. On. Over.

 

On the other hand, the second hand. Ticktock.

 

You're so...

 

- So...
- intelligent?

 

Fragrant?

 

- Dangerous?
- Odd.

 

I mean, you always have been.

 

Cat's in the bag and the bag's in the river.

 

Everyone, we have lift-off!

 

(Cheering)

 

I'm sorry, Camilla,
but as you well know, I am a hard...

 

I'm a hard...

 

What am l?..liner.

 

I'm a hardliner,
which means I'm hard and a liner.

 

Had a dog called Linus once.

 

Linus!

 

Here, boy.

 

GEOFFREY: Linus! Here, boy!

 

Linus!

 

I thought the world of that dog.

 

I loved that dog.

 

Camilla.

 

What I'm trying to tell you...

 

..is that you...

 

you remind me of Linus.

 

(Moans)

 

(Thud)

 

Woof, woof.

 

(Camilla humming)

 

(Geoffrey mumbling)

 

Three minutes till the end of the show.

 

You've gotta get back, pronto.

 

(Gasps)

 

(Quiz continues below)

 

What are you doing?

 

I couldn't stay there on my own.

 

..in Greek mythology, of Hercules...

 

- OK, don't panic.
- Panic?

 

You can do it - you're nearly there.

 

(Gasps)

 

And I know now
that it's time for the final question.

 

And looking at the scores...

 

- Kelly, listen to me.
- What am I meant to do?

 

Get back now. Right now.

 

Or we're history.

 

.. 1 40 points. For the first time
in School Challenge we have a tie

 

as we go into the final question.

 

All the sweating, all the heartache,
all the dreams, the hopes, ambitions,

 

the revising, the swotting,

 

it's all come down to this moment.

 

(Contestant breaks wind)

 

(Laughter)

 

I'm sorry. It's a side effect
of my raisin and Ryvita diet.

 

Contrary to popular opinion, better in than out.

 

And so, ladies and gentlemen,

 

the final question - the decider.

 

Fingers on buzzers.
Which substance is believed to have

 

such strong aphrodisiac properties

 

that the Aztecs for bad women

 

from consuming it.

 

Thwaites Junior is onto us.

 

She'll blow the whole thing -
we've got to stop her.

 

- I'll handle this.
- But, Annabelle...

 

- Annabelle.
- She's mine.

 

Annabelle, come in!

 

(Ping)

 

(Gasps)

 

Chelsea, St Trinian's.

 

Thwaites.

 

- Where are you going?
- I'm going to bring you down, Fritton.

 

You and your vulgar little school.

 

I have to hurry you, Chelsea.
If you buzz you must answer straightaway.

 

Is it chocolate?

 

(Sighs)

 

You do know I'm faster than you.

 

Annabelle? Annabelle, come in.

 

Annabelle.

 

Urgh!

 

Chocolate? Is that your answer?

 

Er...

 

Yes, it is.

 

Time for a little prayer.

 

Is the right answer!

 

(Cheering and applause)
- Yes!

 

Which means this year's champions
are St Trinian's School.

 

(Wild cheering)

 

(Stephen chuckles)

 

I'm so happy.

 

Yes! Yes!

 

Yes, Bursar!

 

(Cheering continues)

 

Yeah!

 

(Running water)

 

(Camilla humming)

 

(Gargling)

 

(Toilet flushes)

 

Camilla, erm...

 

Last night, what happened?
I don't remember anything.

 

(Giggles) I'm sorry, Geoffrey.

 

I'm afraid I had to slip you a little something.

 

And then...

 

you returned the favour.

 

Oh, God, you didn't, did you?

 

Well...not exactly.

 

- Now, listen, Camilla, I can't...
- Oh, shut up, Geoffrey.

 

Just kiss me.

 

♪ THE FOUR ACES:
Love Is A Many Splendoured Thing

 

♪ Love is a many splendoured thing

 

♪ It's the April rose
that only grows in the early spring

 

(Needle scratches across record)

 

What the...?

 

(Gasps)

 

(Groans)

 

What took you so long?

 

More now on that breaking news story.

 

In an extraordinary turn of events,

 

the priceless painting that was stolen
last night from the National Gallery

 

has been recovered.

 

Vermeer's Girl With A Pearl Earring

 

was found by a group of schoolgirls
in a changing room of Harvey Nichols.

 

We can go live now to St Trinian's School

 

where our reporter Denise Stephenson

 

is with the chairman of the National Gallery

 

waiting to give the girls a reward.

 

It gives me great pleasure to present this award

 

to the girls of St Trinian's

 

who are model citizens,
an example to young people everywhere.

 

And here they are now.

 

(Cameras click, reporters call out)

 

How does it feel to be a role model?

 

We've been unable to contact
Education Minister Geoffrey Thwaites...

 

- There he is!
- He's up there.

 

- (Shouting)
- Come on, Minister.

 

(Cheering)

 

♪ We can't fake the way we feel

 

♪ We were born to keep it real

 

♪ Hockey sticks and balls of steel

 

♪ We are St Trinian's

 

♪ You bite us, we'll bite you back

 

♪ Better be scared when we attack

 

♪ Feel the fear, we're maniacs

 

♪ St Trinian's

 

♪ Check out our battle cry

 

♪ A song to terrify

 

♪ No-one can stand in our way

 

♪ We are the best

 

♪ So screw the rest

 

♪ We do as we damn well please

 

♪ Until the end

 

♪ St Trinian's

 

♪ Defenders of anarchy

 

♪ We are the best

 

♪ So screw the rest

 

♪ We do as we damn well please

 

♪ Until the end

 

♪ St Trinian's

 

♪ Defenders of anarchy

 

♪ St Trinian's!

 

♪ So scam all the toffs, the neats and the freaks

 

♪ Blackmail the goths,
the slappers and the geeks

 

♪ And if they complain, we'll do it all again

 

♪ We do as we damn well please

 

♪ ASBO the chavs, the emos and their mates

 

♪ To torment the slags, we offer special rates

 

♪ And if they complain, we'll do it all again

 

♪ Defenders of anarchy

 

♪ Check out our battle cry

 

♪ A song to terrify

 

♪ No-one can stand in our way

 

♪ We are the best

 

♪ So screw the rest

 

♪ We do as we damn well please

 

♪ Until the end
♪ Until the end

 

♪ St Trinian's

 

♪ Defenders of anarchy

 

♪ St Trinian's!

 

(Cheering)

 

♪ CAMILLA & GEOFFREY:
Love Is In The Air

 

There's something about you tonight, Camilla.

 

CAMILLA: ♪ Love is in the air

 

♪ Everywhere I look around

 

♪ Love is in the air

 

♪ Every sight and every sound

 

GEOFFREY:
♪ And I don't know if I'm being foolish

 

♪ Don't know if I'm being wise

 

♪ It's something that I must believe in

 

♪ And it's there when I look in your eyes

 

CAMILLA: ♪ Love is in the air

 

♪ In the whisper of the trees

 

Yes, it is Geoffrey.

 

♪ Love is in the air

 

♪ In the thunder of the sea

 

♪ And I don't know if I'm just dreaming
- Shall I pinch you, Geoffrey?

 

♪ Don't know if I feel sane
- You're utterly bonkers.

 

♪ But it's something that I must believe in

 

♪ And it's there when you call out my name

 

Oh, Geoffrey!

 

BOTH: ♪ Love is in the air

 

♪ Love is in the air

 

♪ Whoa-whoa-whoa
- Geoffrey!

 

- Do it again.
♪ Whoa-whoa-whoa

 

You love it, you saucy minx.

 

(Camilla giggles)
Fame Academy, here we come.

 

CAMILLA: ♪ Love is in the air

 

♪ In the rising of the sun

 

GEOFFREY: ♪ Love is in the air

 

♪When the day is nearly done

 

♪ And I don't know if you're an illusion
- I'm here, Camilla.

 

♪ I don't know if I see it true

 

GEOFFREY:
♪ But you're something that I must believe in

 

♪ And you're there when I reach out for you

 

Not there, please, Geoffrey.

 

CAMILLA: ♪ Love is in the air

 

♪ Everywhere I look around

 

GEOFFREY: ♪ Love is in the air

 

♪ Every sight and every sound
- Geoffrey!

 

BOTH: ♪ And I don't know if I'm being foolish

 

♪ Don't know if I'm being wise

 

♪ But it's something that I must believe in

 

♪ And it's there when I look in your eyes

 

- More rhythm.
- Slow down, Camilla.

 

For God's sake, slow down.
Give a man a chance.

 

CAMILLA:
Give it more rhythm, more rhythm. Go on. Go on!

 

♪ Love is in the air

 

♪ Ooh-hoo, ooh-hoo!

 

♪ Love is in the air

 

♪ Ooh-hoo, ooh-hoo!

 

GEOFFREY:
I love it when you look at me like that.

 

Come on, Geoffrey, let's not ruin the chorus.

 

- Here we go. One, two...
- One, two...

 

One, two, three, four!

 

♪ Love is in the air

 

♪ Ooh-hoo, ooh-hoo!

 

♪ Love is in the air

 

♪ Ooh-hoo, ooh-hoo!

 

♪ Love is in the air

 

♪ Love is in the air